Happy New Year - Voracious Blog Reader

To all those celebrating New Year, unlike me sitting at home and considering 1st of January as just another day:

HAPPY NEW YEAR

I will reply to all your comments to all the previous posts and this one soon.

A special wish to my blog partner Shree: Happy New Year Partner.

Voracious Blog Reader

Psychology...Anybody??? - Voracious Blog Reader

Hello Everybody!

Assuming that you cycle to work everyday, which of the following option would you choose and why?

1. Downhill

2. Flat road

3. Uphill


There is nothing called "correct" answer here. Its just a matter of preference.


Voracious Blog Reader

Deepavali - Diwali - Suggestions - Voracious Blog Reader

* Give some crackers/fireworks etc., to the poor kid standing nearby too. He would be overjoyed. Better still ask him to burst it in front of your eyes.

The joy of donating should be felt.

* Please do not create much work for the Watchman/sweepers etc., Collect the Flower pots, sparklers etc., yourself and dispose it in the bin. Your surroundings look clean too.

* Be considerate. Old people/new born babies etc., also live in the neighbourhood. Avoid hydrogen bombs/atom bombs.

* If you are the person who gets enormous amount of sweetboxes, do not munch them all by yourself. Donate them to the needy people around. Let them celebrate too.
[Info: The silver layer spread on sweets are made by beating tiny bits of silver with a hammer. The tiny bits are placed inbetween layers of fresh sheep's underskin.]

Voracious Blog Reader

Peaceful - Voracious Blog Reader

Ah.....Life without a mobile phone is so peaceful.

I wonder why I need a mobile phone at all.

No more calls during driving, grocery shopping etc.

Soooo peaceful.

:)

Voracious Blog Reader

Please do not waste your food – Voracious Blog Reader

A simple google search will tell us how people in some of the countries across the world suffer due to lack of food to eat.

Please do not waste your food.

I have seen instances when food was wasted/thrown into the Garbage because:

1. The food is not warm.

2. The food doesn't suit their taste buds.

One could be considerate if food was thrown into the bin since it is not edible. But again I would ask:

• What lead to this situation?

• Is it negligence?

• Was the food left in the refrigerator for days together and left to decay?

The amount of food one eats in the developed countries for breakfast, is the food a person eats in Africa for the whole day. [Forgot the magazine, which gave this fact, and hence unable to give reference]

I am sure everyone of us has received the e-mail of a child crawling to a food camp in sudan and a vulture waiting near by to eat the child once it died of starvation. Please think of this when you waste your food. We are blessed to eat a square meal. For those who were lucky enough to escape the gory picture, here it is: (click on image for a enlarged view)

And then, there are these instances were people celebrate their Birthdays where the person is literally bathed in all sort of food items, like in this video below:

I do not want to give him publicity and hence not mentioning his blog here.

Despite our (Sree's and mine) comments mentioning the importance of food, the person never even bothered to reply. The amount of food wasted could have lasted at least two days.

I reiterate: Please do not waste your food.

Voracious Blog Reader

Qualifications - Voracious Blog Reader

Looking at our politicians in India, I came up with this question:

What are the necessary qualifications to become a politician?

These questions struck my mind when trying to answer the above question:

a) Should one have a good educational upbringing?

b) Should one have good experience in serving the society?

c) A mixture of both? [Is it feasible?]

While there are a minimum set of criteria that are to be met to become a Lawyer, Doctor, Engineer etc., are there any set of rules for a Politician?

I cannot take this answer from you all: He should be a Rowdy and so on and so forth.



Voracious Blog Reader

Just wondering... - Voracious Blog Reader

Many Indian people living in the western world have a nick name/alternate name since the western world finds it hard to pronounce their names.

Why do they find it hard? Don't we not learn the pronounciation of their names? Why not they then? Probably westerns have a answer to my above questions.

On the othe hand, people come up with their nicknames/alternate names themselves.

I can understand situations like:

" Hi, I am Dhanalakshmi. People call me Dhana".

" Hi my name is Bharath Kumar. People usally call me Bharath".

But why situations like:

" My name is Kamakshi. You can call me kams"

Or

" My name is Krishnamurthy. You can call me kris"

Is it an inferiority complex that leads to suggesting nicknames ourselves? Or is one trying to sound western? Or is one changing their name to be accepted in a group?

For example, in the U.S, the number of Indians living is quite a huge sum. Why then do they name their kids "Laya, kris etc.," trying to hide their race? The name wouldn't stand out if it was a usual name like "Krishnakumari or rajalakshmi" considering the huge population of Indians right?

Do the foreign nationals in India, working on an extended period of a couple of months to a few years, change their names from "Renate" to "Rani" or from "Heinrich" to "rishi"?

Update: Just to maintain the gravitas of my post, did not include the following funny video earlier.



Voracious Blog Reader

Simple and easy methods to prevent environment pollution-voracious blog reader

Here are some of my suggestions to avoid polluting the environment by going in for natural products:

* Plastics are dangerous. Where ever possible please use cotton bags. Avoid plastic bags. Always have the habit of carrying cotton bags with you. I always tell the shop keepers that I have bought my bag along.

* Go in for coir foot rests for your doorsteps and for cotton ones for bedroom etc.

* As much as possible buy cotton clothing. Kadhi Gramodhya Bhavan is a good place to start.

* The younger generation can make use of the cycle to make small errands. Use a dynamo instead of the battery-type lights.

* Use cotton ropes for putting the clothes out for drying. I agree that nylon ones last longer. But cotton ropes' production does not pollute the environment.

* Please switch off an appliance completely. For example, switch off the main switch of the TV. Leaving it ON does consume power. Though the consumption is small, small droplets of water form a big cloud. Imagine each and every household leaving their TV ON (not to mention the video/DVD players attached to the TV). Lot of power would be consumed then. Unwanted power consumption means wasting the power produced. On the same lines, switch off the lights before retiring to bed at night. I know quite a few people who have the habit of reading a book/magazine and doze off. Unwanted power consumption.

* If one wants to really bring down power consumption, one can go in for "kallore" and "ammi kal". And the food tastes a lot better than the electric mixies and grinders.

Voracious Blog Reader

Happy Birthday Shree

Hi Shree,

Wishing you a Happy Birthday.

Here is your Birthday card:

http://www54.123greetings.com/card/09/18/14/16/CH10918141644759.html

Eat the whole cake. I do not want even a piece. Its meant for you. Eat'em all please.

Voracious Blog Reader

Quacker :) (by Ananya )

There is this cartoon which really touched my heart. Its called Oswald.
Oswald is an octopus who lives in a big city with lots of friends. One day , Oswald, his dog Weeny and best friend Daisy go to 'duck pond' to drink some water after a tiring game.

While they drink the water , a mummy duck and her ducklings keep swimming in the water.
They come out and wriggle their feathers to shake off the water . The last duckling does'nt follow its mother and walks in the direction of Oswald saying 'Quack quack' .

Oswald and his friends keep looking out for the source of that noise. They find the baby duckling there. They decide to find its mother and pick it up and go all around the play ground playing on swings , slides and see-saws as they pass. By now , the duckling gets attached to Daisy.

Whereever it goes , it wants Daisy to be with it. Oswald and Daisy keep saying 'Quack quack' all the time thinking that the mother duck might hear them. Finally , they look all around the big city and end up on the pavement near the ice-cream shop. The owner of the shop Mr.Snow hears Oswald saying 'Quack quack' .

He asks Oswald 'what's up?' and Oswald tells all about the duckling and how they have looked all around and that they are tired out. Mr.Snow , suggest that they should go back to the place where they found little duckling. They find it a great idea.

So they go back and look around and dont find mother duck. The duckling gets on to a boat in the water and says 'Quack quack' . So , Daisy suggest that they should get onto the boat and row into the pond.
In the boat Daisy and the duckling whom she has named 'Quacker' start talking in 'Quack' language.

Daisy : Quack quack
Quacker: Quack quack quack
Daisy : Quack quaaaaaackk
Quaker : Quaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackkk

And now they find mother duck swimming into the pond with her little ducklings. Daisy puts Quacker back into the pond and it swims back to its mother while Daisy watches teary eyed .
She says 'Quack' for 'Goodbye' and she gets a reply from Quacker.
'I'll miss you' says Daisy and 'I'll miss u too' says Quacker.

THE END :)

Composed and dictated by Ananya and typed by Sree .

This post is dedicated to all readers who called my posts 'thayir vadai' or 'mokkai' or

'plain boring' ;-).....Sree

Shuklaam Bharadharum vishnum....

Thanks a lot to Shree (a.k.a Partner) for allowing me to co-author this blog.

When my Partner cuts a cake and celebrates my Birthday, I think I should reciprocate, atleast by writing a few words in praise of her (By the way, everything that can be said about shree will always be praises. she is that kind of a person).

Shree, a great Lawyer in the making, is a wonderful person with a very broad mind. I wish her all the best, with all my heart, in her career and for her upcoming exams.

Shree always wanted me to co-author this blog, which I always politely declined. But I gave in ultimately.

I am happy to be a part of "Sri's Views" and hope to post soon.

Hey Partner, Thank you very much.

Voracious Blog Reader

Hello everyone :)

First thing ! I apologise.
I should have informed you friends that I wld be taking a break. But was hoping that something would pop up in my little brain and I can put a post about it.But miracles took a break too.
So sorry pals..and please excuse me till the end of this month.
In other words , enjoy your freedom ;)


Second...
Yesterday was my dear partner, Voracious blog reader's birthday :) I missed wishing yesterday.
So I wish V a very happy birthday and many more happy returns of the day :)

Yes...I took my share of the cake ;)

See yaa , friends .

Happy Independence day !

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30 states , 1618 languages , 6400 castes , 6 religions ,6 ethnic groups , 29 major festivals and one country.Be proud to be an Indian.
Happy Independence day !



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ennssoooiii....a la Lolla Kutty ;-)

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Enough of Sardar jokes....... ......... .Mallu jokes are here!!!!!!!! !!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting,
folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait ?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
"Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders, We Are Yevery Where"

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams?
Coz Whenever they get a corner, they set up a tea shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN bones....


My favs are Nos.16 & 17 :))

hey...before u guys start off abt 'tamil accents', listen to this.
This was forwarded by a Telugu friend ;-)



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Schools-Who needs appraisal ?

Ankur's post on the state of Schools in India prompted me to get my dad's opinion on improving the sitution in the Govt. School.
This is one of his pet topics as he was closely associated with management training for a long time.
So here goes....


Performance appraisal :
1. Scholar's performance
2. Teacher's performance

Of these two I would rather prefer the second as more important in view of the fact that our objective at present is to improve the educational system in institutions esp. Govt. institutions.
While the scholars' performance is being apprised, by various means , and from time to time this system of apprisal is being updated and revised , the performance of the teachers is given scant regard .
Some of the higher institutions such as IIMs do have a performance appraisal system for teachers in the form of feed-back in standardised formats .Even these formats are not tailored to individual subjects but are generic in nature and therefore the efficacy of these formats is doubtful. At the same time the other institutions do not even have such rudimentary feed-backs and tend to shy away from apprisal of any kind.
Therefore if the remuneration of the teachers is linked to performance by some acceptable form - acceptable to both the teachers and the taught - the educational system per se will see some light at the end of the tunnel.
However care has to be taken to fine tune the apprisal system itself periodically. This can come about only if we set up an objective group of persons who have a stake in the system and this can be achieved only by giving wide publicity and inviting comments from the public .


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updated


While it is true that the teachers are being increasingly diverted for other 'works', ostensibly for "pulic" purposes, the fact that the education per se is given a go-by and nobody seems to object to this. A typical example is that the teachers were given TARGETS to "catch" victims for sterililization surgeries under the family planning programmes; and so is the case when every election crops up be it the panchayat level or the parliament level. The irony is that the teachers do not seem to protest and seem to be happy to get away from their primary jobs.

In my personal experience I have come across the crass attitudes of the teachers even when they are well and regularly paid. All this is because of the fact that the teachers' performance is not apprised in an objective manner. Nor are they accountable.

I would like to quote an instance that I personaly know. A 400 two-roomed rural school building was built. Although the buildings themselves could be and were built in record time, many were not brought underuse since they were not being taken over by the teachers. The matter required probing so that any changes in design desired by the users could be incorporated. In most of the cases we could find that the teachers were of native of and resided in nearby villages/towns. They were all commuting to their jobs by motor cycles. Consequently a rainy day did not see the teacher at the school. The objection to occupying the buildings was that there were no ramps leading into the class rooms and the teachers insisted that they would only park their mobikes inside the class lest the mobikes be meddled with by the children and surprisingly no sanction was forth coming of construction of the ramps. AND EDUCATION AND EDUCATIONAL INFRASTRUCTURE WAS FORGOTTEN. This prolonged for a couple of months and both the construction wing nor the teachers were prepared to bring the stalemate to an end. Seeing the pathetic condition, an innovative solution was found by involving the local villagers who by contribution of material and/ or labour provided ramps to enable their wards to be housed in better class rooms.

Such instances are numerous.
Similar instance can also be quoted from the nation's capital. A group of officers from other states were to be taken around to show the achievements of the Union Territory in school managements. The officers who were to take the guests around Delhi were the ones who were supposed to periodically inspect, supervise and advise. But surprisingly the 'guides' did not know their way around; in one case they even took the officers to a gate of a school which was locked up and the neighbours around on enquiry revealed that the gate had not been opened for almost a decade and that the a small gate from another street was being used.

If such are the approaches to education where are we?

Raasa-Leela - a spiritual message

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Among all the minature paintings portraying Lord Krishna , the one that I find very captivating is 'Raasa-Leela'.

Its a very attractive one with Krishna and Radha dancing in the middle of a large circle formed by Gopikas dancing with 'her own' Krishna . Personalised service ;)

The picture that comes to our mind when we talk about Lord Krishna is one of a casanova , a jokester or a prankster. On the surface it looks like Krishna is having a whale of a time dancing with all those nubile nymphs. But just a little study unravels the true meaning behind the portrait.

The devotional fervor Krishna created in the gopikas is best explained by the rasa-leela dance, wherein each of hundreds of gopikas perceived Krishna to be dancing with them alone.
As the dance progressed, the gopikas acted and moved in different ways: one sang on a high and another on a lower pitch; a third reclined on the shoulder of Krishna .This diversity of movement points to a significant fact in spiritual life: no two devotees have the same identical journey.

God draws different people in different ways. He is the great loverand for him every human being is precious. He multi-locates himself, leading each devotee according to his/her individual wishes.

The love between Krishna on one hand and all other Gopikas on the other was quite devoid of any physical connotations. . It was the spirutual craving of the individual soul to get united with the Supremo.

There is an inner innocent girl waiting within each of us, desiring to emerge and play with our friendly cowherd in an exchange of love.

I like the painting for its very colorful attractive looks , but somehow this explanation adds to its charm .

And this perspective is more appealing to me than portraying Krishna as a philanderer.

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"Happily Ever After" ..myth or mission ?

Most of us know the fairy tale where the prince rescues the damsel in distress and they ride off into the sunset to a place called "Happily Ever After." Many of us think, in some way, that there is truth to this insipid tale.

But its just a mirage. We see many marriages fail even before they take off.
We can only analyse the reasons and give solutions to the problems.
We argue that girls should equip themselves with a career and be financially independent.
But sadly , in many cases even though there are no financial worries , the break-up itself takes it toll on the people involved.

Everyone enters into a marriage with expectations about how the marriage will satisfy his or her needs. Problems arise when these expectations go unmet and feelings of disappointment start to seep in.

Therefore, it is very important that one is prepared to face the worst if things go wrong. Why is it assumed that once the marriage is over , everything will fall into place ? It has to be understood that there is many a slip between the lip and the cup and that it can take any route.

A person should be taught to enter the threshold of marriage with an open mind , prepared to face the harsh realities and not to succumb to depression when failure strikes.
It should be taught that its not the be all and end all of life.

What Men Really Mean

Just so apt :))

"It's a guy thing."
Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means...."Why isn't it already on the table?"

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means....Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means..."I have no idea how it works.

"We're going to be late."
Really means...."Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means...."I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means...."Are you still talking?"

"It's a really good movie."
Really means...."It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and beautiful women."

"That's women's work."
Really means...."It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"You know how bad my memory is."
"Really means.... "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means.... "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means.... "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means.... "...And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I can't find it."
Really means.... "It didn't fall right into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"What did I do this time?"
Really means.... "What did you catch me at?"

"I heard you."
Really means.... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means.... "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"You look terrific."
Really means.... "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."

"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means.... "No one will ever see us alive again."

"We share the housework."
Really means.... "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

How'z it :P

The dream life of Ananya

My dream life is this :) If I live in a hut , this is what my routine would be. I'd wake up in the morning , arrange the previous nights washed dishes , go and sprinkle water all over and put designs (rangoli) then make tea and serve it .I would fetch water from the well and near the well I'd do some gossiping .I'd come back make breakfast serve it and then start cooking the lunch.While the rice is getting cooked , I'd dust , sweep and mop the house. I'd finish the cooking serve it , have it and have a little cat-nap.I'd wake up early and wash the dishes and the clothes , and hang the clothes for drying .Then I wld go , fetch fire wood for a long time, come back and fold the clothes.Arrange the dishes back in their places , start cooking dinner. After serving , I'd wash the dishes and make everybody's beds and go to sleep and relax :)


PS...typed by me while madam dictated. Not one word of the above is mine :)
Ananya is 10 yrs old and is presently in the 6th standard whose dream is a village life :)
She is my 'terror' of a niece ;-)
She insisted on me posting her dream and is looking forward to the comments :))


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Tagged

I was tagged by Amit to write 8 facts about myself…
Thank you Amit , for tagging me..it really made me think :)

I also thank whoever started this for one thing…..one writes about oneself…if its like ‘get a few to tell u a few facts about u….I’d be torn between telling the truth or saving my face’ :)

These are the rules

1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

2. People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post these rules.

3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

4. If you fail to do this within eight hours, you will not reach Third Series or attain your most precious goals for at least two more lifetimes.

I will follow the first three..the last one I cld’nt follow bcos truly I had a hard time coming up with 8 facts about myself ( I was apprehensive if my readers wld think I am pompous , whenever I came up with a fact ;-) )

so guys I have mellowed things a bit

As for my precious goals…I guess I have to come to terms with being single for another 2 lifetimes =)) ( yeah yeah…I am able to hear all u ladies shout ‘it’s a boon !!! ’ :)) got it !! )

So ladies and gentleman…u can unfasten ur seat belts now and recline ur seats and relax ! the flight is going to be a smooth one

1. I like to call myself a simple person with a down to earth attitude. I enjoy a lot of activities and it does’nt matter if its an expensive hobby or just a hay ride in a farm..I am equally happy doing both.

2. I love reading and have a good collection of books. I even collect books which I feel may interest me at a later date.

3. I love discussions and arguments. Even if I don’t know the subject I stay there and make it a point to understand it.

4. If there is one thing I cant stand , its mediocre movies . I cant stand bad movies. I don’t mean I am a Maniratnam fan or am an intellectual , but movies like ‘Veerasamy ‘ and ‘Kabhi alvida na kehna ‘ …pleaseee , torture. But there are some movies like ‘beautiful mind’ and ‘pretty woman’ that I can watch over and over again.

5.Travelling interests me a lot, but I do not like those guided or pre arranged tours by the tour companies. I like to go to a place where I have a local friend and with the help of him/her decide my own places of interest.

6. My weakness is the elderly. I especially love the 70+ and go out of my way to converse with them . I have a liking for all their ‘in those days….” stories .

7. If there is something that makes me nervous , its ‘cooking’ . I get so scared and nervous that it wont turn out well ( and most of the time, it does'nt , atleast that’s how they seem to me :P) .

8. My days are filled with humor , I like to see the lighter side of things and make humor out of even the most mundane of things. I thank my grandfather for this :)

Hey , we have landed safely and I hope it was a smooth flight ! You all get unlimited access to the comment section free , as a bonus for flying with me ;)

Ensooiiiiii , pals :)

I am tagging Ankur , Sowmya , Ravi , Thiru , Sahasra , Jeevan , Adiya and Kamal !

I am warning u guys ! Beware of the fourth rule !!

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Energy and Persistence Conquer all things-B.Franklin

Just look at the complete concave crater !
How persistent the wind should be !
It reminds me of this quotation by Calvin Coolidge

"Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

The slogan “Press On” has solved and

always will solve the problems of the human race."



Note: This is a rock in Horsley Hills which is situated in the Southern part AP.
A place with wonderful climate and the highlight is there is no other entertainment
except nature walks and bird watching

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Adultery in Indian law

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The debate whether the Law against adultery favors women is an age old one. I have been hearing this argument right from the time I was thrown in the midst of Lawyers.

When I read Prerna's post about it some time ago , I was reminded of Ankur's post on the same subject. And I think they have dicussed the issue very well.

But when I asked a few lawyers their opinion , I got looks that said 'oh !not the same old one' .

Though the debate is an old one , there are many questions still unanswered.

The question that interested me is 'what does the law attempt to achieve by this section'

Adultery is dealt in two ways by Indian Law. Under Penal Law its a criminal offence and in Matrimonial Law it can be used as a ground for divorce and nothing more (though it has a great impact on the wife's right to maintenance ).

Both under Penal law and Matrimonial law, adultery is an offence against marriage.
But the difference between the two is , under Penal Law the adulterer is the accused and
is penalised while the wife (adulteress) goes unpunished.

In the matrimonial court when a petition for divorce is filed on grounds of adultery,
the main relief is sought against the spouse and not against the adulterer though he may
be a party to the proceedings.

And the glaring difference is that in the Penal law the right is conferred only on the husband while in Matrimonial law both the spouses can use adultery as grounds for divorce.

So Matrimonial Law makes complete sense as the discretion of living with the erring
spouse is given to the wronged spouse and relief can be sought using this as grounds.

The futility of the section in Penal Law

What is most significant in the penal offence of adultery is that invariably the husband takes his vengeance against the third person, i.e. the adulterer .

The criminal action is filed not against the wife but against the adulterer. The wife is not guilty of offence, not even as an abettor.

The adulterer is considered 'an outsider to the matrimonial unit who invades the peace
and privacy of the matrimonial unit and poisons the relationship between the two
partners constituting the matrimonial unit.'

Thus it shifts the entire blame on the third person , and in the process the erring wife
goes scott-free . The wronged husband takes it out on the third person and not his wife.

Is'nt this akin to asking a child that has fallen down to hit the floor with all its might
to ease the pain ? The child shifts the blame on to the floor and feels happy that
things are taken care of , till the next time it falls down. It goes on and on until the child
learns to walk properly.

Similarly the Law should not confer this futile right on the husband but expect him
to deal with his marital problems within his home. He has no right to blame a third person
while his wife is part of the scenario. The ultimate shame a husband can face in matrimony is an adulterous wife and blaming it on a third person is like drenching himself in filth.

He can either condone the offence in a spirit of 'forgive and forget' and live together
or seperate by approaching a matrimonial court and snapping the tie by securing divorce.

Adultery under Penal Law should be repealed as being useless , outdated , obsolete and downright illogical.

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The drinks on me tonight !!

Oh..I love her...

I adore her...

I worship her!!!

Do I or dont I .....propose ?

Will she or wont she...accept ?



hey sweet-heart ...my love :)

I promise to play doll-doll...

will never ask for car-car...

make pasta with play-doh...

clean ur fisher-price kitchen...

play take-away when u dont feel like playing kitchen...

u sit in the car...I push...

u scatter things....I pick after u....

and the ultimate sacrifice for u my dove

we can paint our nursery PINK...so now u know...

how much I love :)







So tell me sweety baby

What kind of fellas do you like

Well here I am sweet lady

You got one here right by your side

You know I might sound crazy

But I think you could be my wife

You've got the lovely pretty smile....

And those eyes that glow at night

oh please please just say u'd be mine :)




Ohhhh...hurray !!

the lady just said YES :))

ahaaa the drinks on me tonight baby

The drinks on me tonight !!

************************************

Touts

The results for all the entrance exams have been declared and accompanying that all the hype about which coaching centre prepared the winning horses .

Its just funny to note that invariably all the coaching centres claim that the toppers were their 'students' . It is a known fact that these schools and coaching centres contact high performers in 10th class and enroll them free of cost .

The contribution of these coaching centres towards the success of the toppers is minimal and these student would have come out with flying colors even without their help...the performance track of these students speaks volumes.
So , whatever the coaching centres claims should be taken with a generous helping of salt .

...... for richer, for poorer, ...until death do us part

With double income , nuclear families being the order of the day , one wonders which is the best arrangement for managing the finance of the couples.

Which is the best option...having seperate accounts with one joint account for paying the bills or a common account where all the incomes are pooled and all expenses met from this account ?

It is very common for the wife to manage her 'own' money where a huge dowry is involved . So what are the expenses that she wld use this money for ? What are the expenses her husband is expected to bear ?

What about home-makers ? Does she get to have an equal say in the financial decisions of the family even if she does'nt contribute to the income ?

Invariably , when there is a slightest problem between the couples , this is one of the major complaints..disagreement on how the monies shd be managed and what it is to be spent on. And it mainly involves helping out his /her parents.

Is it so very difficult to draw a budget and fix a range or a max amount that a spouse can spend on their pet interests ? When the couple promises to share their lives....why cant they share a joint account ? why should each expense be appropriated to either of the spouse's account ?

Just wondering ............

Shopping - ' exclusively hers '

What is it with shopping and happiness? Is retail therapy for real ?

I think it is .I get a great deal of happiness while shopping...be it any place..it need not be any expensive place...even ordinary shops wld do...but the the crowd in the pavement shops is a bit too much to handle .

I feel if there is nothing purchased at the end of the session..it is waste of efforts..again if I have spent too much..I feel guilty. So it has to be in moderation.
Coming back home and looking at the purchases is another pleasure :)

A piece of advice..if there is one species that shd not be taken along while shopping its called 'human male' species . It has the potent ingredient called 'nagging' that can kill any shopping happiness. And just when u think u have found the rt dress and want to try it on...the species goes into the 'hunger mode' and wants lunch at 10:30 AM and all after it has gobbled down a dozen idlies.

If the species also happens to fall under the sub-category 'brother' then beware , it's the deadliest of the strains and may even resort to a volley of expletives in public .

So friends...enjoy shopping..leave the species behind....rt where it belongs...in front of the idiot box :))

btw...this is a 'humor' post :))

An Excerpt

Ravi in his post about mythological characters had invited readers to share their views on the ones that interest them.
I want to share some excerpts from the comment section of his post. I found r.Prabhu's version of the story I narrated ,very interesting.
I apologise to readers who do not know Tamil. As I am forwarding it from another page I am not taking the liberty of changing it...excuse me , please.

This was my comment to Ravi's post -

"My all time fav is Karna..I have great admiration for him.
enga paati oru kadhai solluvaanga...
oru murai Dhuriyodhananum avanga wifeum dhaanam seidhu kondu irundhaangalaam...kaathala aarambicha dhaanam raathiri aagiyum mudiyalaiyaam....appo Karnan vandhu paathuttu..."what is going on ?" nnu kettaaraam..dhuriyodhanan was very tired and said "enatha seiyaradhu....innum niraiya irukku dhaanam thara..." .
Karnan had a hearty laugh and said...
"dhaanam pannara murai idhudhaana?..ippo paar" and he said that he'd take over :)
Makkal munnaadi vandhu
"Inga paarunga...Yaarukku enna venumo eduthu kondu ponga" nnu sonnaaraam :)
U can imagine what happened next..
So edhavadhu velaiya medhuva seidhukondu irundha my grandma used to say this story :)

@Sree
The story is told a bit differently though, the Dhaanam story.
by r.prabhu

R.prabhu sir..
Andha Dhaanam story unga version solla mudiyumaa?
Adha enga paati thaniya kadhaiya sonnadhu illa...thittum podhu eduthu viduvaanga..so I cld have lost some points. :)
thanks :)
by Sree


@Sree
The story goes like this. Once Krishna was talking to the Pandavas in praise of Karnan, saying that "Karnanai pol yarum dhaanam, dharman seyya mudiyathu, Karnan Dhana Dharmathil Sirandhavan". On hearing that the Pandavas did not like Krishna supporting Karnan and argued with him saying that the eldest of the Pandavas, Yudhistra, was called as Dharmar, not only because of his righteousness, but also for the benefactoring attitude.

Krishna challenged that he can prove Karnan to be more mature and Dhanathil Sirandhavan endru. So he held a competition between the Pandavas and Karnan. The competition was that 2 mountains of gold and silver would be given to both of them and whoever donates the most in a single day, will be termed as "Dhaanathil Sirandhavan".

So on the first day the Pandavas started out. As they dug the mountain and started donating, the mountains began growing as the Pandavas dug it. And there was a long queue to be fed with the donations. They went on until dusk but the mountains kept on growing, and atlast they still had about half of the queue left. Satisfied that they have donate about half of the world world's population, they went to rest. Thinking that Karnan is a single person and he could not achieve this feat that was done by the five mighty persons.

Then the next day Krishna told Karnan that he has to donate as much as he can to as many people in this world. Immediately Karnan fell at Krishna's feet and told "Parandhama, neeyae ulagam, neeyae Paramporul. Ulagathil anaithum neeyae, adhanaal ulagam uyiyum poruttu indha malaigalai unakkae dhaanamaga kodukiraen". Krishna was so pleased at the Karnan's act and praised him and later after Karnan went, he looked at the Pandavas, but they bent down their heads in shame.

And that proved that Karnan was Dhaana, Dharmathil Sirandhavan.

from Sree ......epadee irundhadhu ?

Why Eve was created

Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!

And the #1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

enssooii :))

Surrogacy and the Indian Society

This article reminded me of a similar one I had done a few days ago
at Sowmya's instigation and encouragement . It was posted in her blog and I am
taking the liberty of posting it here again.
Its a lengthy one and feel free to skip any part that does not interest u :)

Surrogacy and the Indian society
*************************

There are a number of methods available today for handling the issue of infertility .But we will deal only with the practice of using 'Surrogate Mothers' (SM) to address infertility problem in this article.

Let's see who a SM is first .A woman who bears a child for another person, often for pay, either through artificial insemination or by carrying until birth another woman's surgically implanted fertilized egg. One that acts as, serves as, or is a mother substitute.

Surrogate Motherhood is the process by which a woman bears a child for another
couple, typically an infertile couple. There are two kinds of surrogate motherhood. In traditional surrogacy, the mother is artificially inseminated with sperm from the father or with sperm from a donor, if the father is infertile. In gestational surrogacy, sperm is taken from the father (or from a donor) and the egg is taken from the mother, fertilization happens in vitro , and the embryos are then implanted into the surrogate mother's uterus . Thus, the surrogate mother is not genetically related to the child.

In both the above cases , the SM is has a very vital role in bringing the child into this world although , in the first case its more so as she is also the biological mother .But , in both the
cases , her time or right over the baby is very limited.

In a tradition bound , conventional country like India , whether this pracitce will be easily accepted or encouraged is a million dollar question.

There are many facets to this system . The social , psychological and legal position of each person has to be dealt seperately. And it is not something that loses its impact as soon as the hiring couple get their child . Infact its a life long challenge which has to be faced by all parties involved . First the Surrogate Mother : Why would a woman want to bear a child then give it away to someone else?

It has to be one of these reasons.
1. She is poverty stricken and needs the money that the hiring couple pay her.
2. She is a close relative of the infertile couple and desperately wants to help out.
3. She is unusually altruistic and does this as a social service .

The last reason for which a SM bears the child is next to none . The second is a possibility . Here she is treated like a Goddess and her every whim is carried out. She is kept in good cheer and the main advantage is that she can continue being with the child .

But the first and the pathetic reason is the one that pushes unfortunate women to lend their womb . What would the impact be on her during and after the delivery ? A woman needs her partner's support , love and care during her pregnancy . In this case who is her partner ? Her husband who is going to benefit from the income ? or the man whose sperm was used ,
or the husband who is hiring her ? She goes through the gestational period with anxiety , uncertainity and insecurity . The very thought that the child does not belong to her would make her feel alienated to the whole process .

We hear every mother utter these words when asked what was the best moment of her life . She'd prompty say " the moment I saw my little one and her eyes looking into mine " . No mother would want to forget that moment of ecstasy and would cherish it for the rest of her life . Its only this poor woman who is expected to forget that wonderful memory.

Most of the women go through a very dull , irritating and depressive period called "Post Partum blues" after the delivery . This SM would have to go through this plus the actual depression of giving away her child. Her social standing also changes after this .She is seen as a conniving woman who would stop at nothing to make a few extra bucks. She is shunned by the society.

The Hiring couple :
Again the man has a set of problems and the wife another . If the sperm of the husband is used , things would be easy on him .Otherwise the man has to be mature enough to understand that although the child is biologically sired by another man , the child is his for all practical purposes.

The woman has mixed emotions . She feels guilt that she could not bear a child (if she has a problem conceiving ) or feels remorse. But overall she is the lucky woman as she is the one who ultimately has the baby and it must be such a relief to become a mother after a long unfruitful wait .

The child :

The child is separated from the SM soon after she is born. The child develops a bond with the mother while she nurses her but this child completely loses out on it . Otherwise , the child is doted upon by the hiring couple .

The real tough time comes when the child grows up and understands that she has another mother who actually gave birth to her. From various studies , it is seen as a fact that every adopted child is curious about her biological parents at a stage in her life . That wld be a great distraction and the constant nagging by her cld bring unpleasantness in the family.

Also , the child stands apart in the society. She is not accepted as normal and there wld be whisperings and mumblings when the child attends a social gathering and its is not an easy thing for the child to handle .

Anonymous Donor : The man who donates his sperms anonymously has no impact whatsoever and same for the woman who donates her ova .

So among all the parties , the worst affected parties are the SM and the child . The child’s problems are the same as any adopted child’s , and can be dealt with the same way .

But the SM’s is unique and she has to make sure she has appropriate support before choosing surrogacy.

Ethical issues :

A major objection to surrogate motherhood remains a fundamental one -- that procreation is separated from the physical expression of love and from the nurturing during pregnancy. How we understand the nature of parenthood is crucial in taking a moral stand on such scientific intervention. This procedure can be compared to people donating their kidneys to make a neat sum . The SM is more or less forced to let out her womb . what does that make her ?
“A human incubator on hire “ .

Indian Society and Surrogacy

Women’s Position :
As it is , there is gross injustice towards women in Indian society. What with lack of education for women , dowry system , dowry death , domestic violence , not having a say in family planning or contraceptive methods and other pressures forced on a daughter-in-law !

1.This would be used as another way of making money and the woman wld be forced to become a SM by her relatives.
2. Her health would be compromised . Her emotianal needs would be neglected .
3. This may become a practice and the women would be finding herself pregnant every 15 months .

Legal implications :

The motivation of a physician or lawyer who engages the services of a surrogate mother must also not impinge upon the moral position of an infertile couple who are considering this procedure The primary objection to surrogate motherhood is the absence of a legal framework to address its many dimensions. The status of the child as well as of the others involved is at risk until the rights and responsibilities of all parties are legally defined and enforced. What will happen if the surrogate mother wants to keep the baby? Can she be enjoined from doing so by the overriding legal right of the biological father who has contracted with her? Can the father successfully sue her if she absconds with the baby? If she miscarries, is the payment to be prorated? If the father/husband and his wife get divorced or separate, who will be awarded custody of the child? Are they both free to change their minds in that event? What if either becomes widowed? What if the child is less than perfect? Can a biological father (and his wife if
she is a coequal party to the contract) require or prevent an amniocentesis? What if abortion is morally repugnant to the surrogate? If the expectant mother contracts a serious disease or gets a job offer, can she invoke her constitutional right to privacy (to abort)? May she do so despite an existing agreement? Who is responsible if the baby survives an abortion attempt? These are some of the questions that await legal

answers.

The conscientious physician, if he or she is not to be regarded as a mere technician, must be satisfied that these safeguards are in effect before cooperating in the conception of a child in a situation of surrogacy. The legal should be clear about all the possible situations that would arise from this peculiar system of Surrogacy.

Commercialism of Surrogacy :

This is the worst aspect of Surrogacy . India is becoming a fertility tourism spot , where couples come from abroad for surrogacy . There is the risk of the country turning into a major child incubating centre , and our women would be reduced to ever pregnant , depressed , undernourished and mentally unstable lot . The poverty and population does not help the situation one bit . A new breed of pimps and illegal agents would spring up all over the state trying to make quick bucks using needy women. There should be strict laws that prevent women being exploited with the lure of foreign money . At no cost should this be allowed to become a commercial racket.

Social outlook :

Our Indian society is not ready to take this giant leap . We have still not come out of caste system , religious disputes and general diversity . How can it accept a child sired by another man , but being brought up as another one’s. The scenario is worse if the child is born with a donor’s sperm and the ova of the wife . Though , adoption is mentioned in ‘manu’ , it was practiced not to help infertile couple , more to keep the wealth in the family or to carry on the family name.

Even today , people prefer to adopt their own nieces or nephews .The whole idea of Surrogacy is the result of infertile couple not able to accept a child from an adoption agency as their own.
In a country like India , Adoption shd be encouraged and the childless couple should be counseled and made to understand the advantages in adopting a child . they shd be made to understand that their own DNA brings out love and attachment in them , any child that is brought home in due course of time , gets so attached to them that there would not be a difference between their biological child and these adopted children.

There is a funny story in Tom and Jerry series that goes along these lines. All of us know how mean and cruel Tom is . In Tom’s presence an egg rolls out and hatches. Out comes out a cutie pie ducky and looks at Tom and says “momma” which is nothing but “imprinting” which means , the first mother like object a new born baby sees , it assumes to be its mother.

Tom in its usual mean ways , wants to make a meal out of it. Jerry notices this and tries to save the ducky . He drags the little ducky into its hole and shows a picture of a mother duck and a duckling and a cat with its kitten .

Jerry points to the Duck;s picture says “MOMMA”and Shows the cat and says "No ,MOMMA” . The little Ducky says “naa naa “ to the duck and grabs the cat’s picture and droolingly and lovingly says “mmmoooommmaaa” . He goes back to Tom who tries to make a dish out of it..inspite of the little ducky calling it “mommaaa…momaaaa” .At this point I was furious with Tom , for not softening up even towards such tender innocent loving little baby duckling . Eventually , the duckling understand what Tom is upto and decides to please
its mother by jumping into the broth with its parting words …

“is’nt this what u want mommaaa…I’ll jump mommmaaa..
bye maaammaa..but I still love u maaammaaa” with such a cute little pathetic face .

at this point Tom crumbles and grabs the little one….while Jerry rushes in to see what’s happening near the brook. and guess what he finds there… leading the little duckling is Tom shaking its derriere to the musical rhythm of “Quack quack quack ….” So when the meanest of mean …..Tom can be changed with the affection of a baby of another species….why cant we ?

I would like to conclude that this procedure will not be accepted in India as we have still not got over the existing problems and this would be like starting a volley of new ones.

Our society will take atleast another decade to be ready to accept such forward anc complex system . Untill then , blood relatives helping in Surrogacy and adopting a child should be the solution for infertile couples .

May Flower

This is called the 'May Flower'.
It blooms only in the month of May and
stays fresh for fifteen days in the plant.
The stalk shoots from a bulb and after the
flowering , the bulb rests till the next
flowering season .
I saw it in a friend's place yesterday and when
the hostess told me about this , I thgt I'd put it here.

Bad news :(

Last week was the worst in my life.

My grandmother passed away on Monday (7th May).

I had done a post about her some time ago .

http://srisviews.blogspot.com/2007/03/watch-out-for-these.html

That is the reason I did not reply to comments promptly.

What is going on ?

1. Is she being tortured ?
2. Is she being tamed ?
3. Is she being treated ?

Naaaa !! She is being pampered :))

Queen is in the parlour
having a cool apple drink :P

Thank you :)

This is from my dad...

Hello everybody..
Thanks for agreeing with me in the 'bloggers vs tea-stall assistants' post.
World will be better off if atleast a few of you intelligent people move on to active field to atleast make small changes to inculcate a change in the right direction ; and I did enjoy the various comments. Thanks a lot.

******************************

Thanks to you all for sharing ur thoughts with me.
Have a great day :)
Sree

KIDS QUOTES & PROVERBS

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
Patrick, age 10

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.
Unknown kid

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
Michael, 14

Never pee on an electric fence.
Robert, 13

Stay away from prunes.
Randy, 9

Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.
Emily, 10

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
Taylia, 11

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
Traci, 14

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Andrew, 9

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
Kyoyo, 9

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Armir, 9

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
Kellie, 11

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
Naomi, 15

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
Lauren, 9

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
Joel, 10

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.
Alyesha, 13

Never, ever, try to baptize a cat.
Eileen,9


**************************
First Grade Proverbs

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave
each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come
up with the rest. These are great:

As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You... Mess It Up.
Better Be Safe Than... Punch A 5th Grader.
Strike While The... Bug Is Close.
It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.
Never Under Estimate The Power Of... Termites.
You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.. How?
Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.
No News Is... Impossible.
A Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.
You Can't Teach An Old Dog New... Math.
If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning.
Love All, Trust.. Me
The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.
An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.
Where There's Smoke, There's... Pollution.
Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!
A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.
Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers.
Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed.
Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And... You Have
To Blow Your Nose.
None Are So Blind As... Helen Keller.
Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.
If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.
You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.
When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.

There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Eddie. :))

bloggers vs tea-stall assistants

During the recent 'bandh' in TN..the only good thing that happened to me , thanks to our beloved CM , is ..I got to spend a few uninterrupted hours with my father discussing a wide variety of topics.

Since there were no public transport...but the flights were still operating, we had to drop a friend off at the airport .

And the topic we were discussing....yes..u guessed it rt..Politics and atrocities by politicians.

Thoroughly fed up with the situation...I blurrted 'I wish the law was amended to allow only educated citizens , eligible to contest in elections.'

I went on to explain how ,many bloggers keep track of current affairs
and express their views and then again there are the others like me
who promptly start nagging ppl around for more info and start a volley
of comments , discussing and dissecting the subject.

I was sooo angry and said that the intelligent bloggers I see on the net could rule the country in a better way than those stupid politicians . The next instant , my dad put me in my place.

He said "An uneducated tea-stall assistant who expresses his opinion publicly and protests , contributes more towards the running of the Govt. than u bloggers , who keep bashing around ideas till ur interests die a natural death ".

I protested saying that I learnt so many new ideas and am aware of current affairs...and it makes me think...thanks to these bloggers.
But, he did'nt budge an inch and was firm in his opinion.

It made me think though...and for a while as an act of clearing mental cob-webs...I refrained from commenting on similar issues.

Later , I asked him to give me reasons supporting his stance.

Here is what he said

**********************

A single act of kindness is better than the greatest grand intention.

In my perception throwing up any number of problems to thread bare theorital beating , will only create frustration in those who are at the receiving end of the problems.

The only satisfaction the bloggers seem to recieve is that they can call themselves to be aware of problems and let their combined effort at an indepth analysis ; ofcourse no light is seen at the end of the tunnel.

An illiterate tea shop assistant who is able to nibble at any one problem atleast to his ability is far better than half a dozen ppl who discuss and discuss the problem and arrive at a decision as who ought to have tackled the problem.

Normative approaches to problems are never pragmatic and are useless.

A large piece of masonry /debris was lying in the middle of the road , probably fallen from a truck. Everybody driving a vehicle suddenly braked and turned around it , cursed and blamed the authorities only one auto rickshaw driver stopped , pushed the offending piece to the side of the road..

So we have a number of street-bloggers who produce no results but one pragmatic individual who produce results. This seems to be the difference between blogging and practising .

The adage "an ounce of practice is better than a pound of preaching ".

***********************

Well..it defenitely makes me think......
though I can't resist commenting on issues that interests me ,
its done with a tinge of guilt .

Now , my friends , I would like to know ur opinion .

A thing of Beauty is a Joy forever !

Bala has tagged me to do a post on six things I find beautiful.
And here is the invitation..

"...நான் அழகு சொல்ல அழைக்கும் மூன்று அழகான நண்பர்கள்,
1. அனைவரையும் சிரிக்க சிந்திக்க வைக்கும் Sree..... "

Thanks for the nice way you have put it ,Bala.
(Now you all know why I have copied it here :P )


I understand beauty as something that brings a surge of happiness the minute our brain registers an image.

The indisputable list would be our Mothers ,babies ,our mother-tongue , rivers ,falls , hills , hill stations ,dew-drops ,half-saree clad girls ,handsome men ,an object d'art, flowers ,green fields ,birds ,butterflies ,bees ,teddy bears , an aritists hands at work , our 'Singaara Chennai' and the list would go on...afterall beauty is definitely in the eyes of the beholder.

I was thinking about subtle beauty..something that brings a flutter of elation....that which is not tangible..but leaves a lasting impression.

1. A Sashtiaptha poorthi couple.

I make it a point never to miss a 60th wedding celebrations of elderly couples.
Its sometimes mistaken as the 6oth wedding anniversary..but infact its another wedding ceremony celebrated when the husband turns 60 and he marries his wife all over again.
The very happiness , pride and contentment seen on the faces of the 'to be married couple' cannot be described in words.
The function is celebrated by the offsprings of the couple and its picture perfect with all the grandchildren hovering around them.
This is the celebration of two strangers who were brought together by chance ..lived together..shared good and bad times...raised kids ,fought with each other
..patched-up ...adjusted , sacrificed and finally arrived in life.

2. My friend 'K' at work.

K is a childhood friend and we were in the same class at school . She is an architect working for a reputed building firm now.
A brief intro abt her..she belongs to a traditional tamil family with a political background (they are always traditionally dressed) and was brought up in a complete tamil culture environment. Her attire is the unmistakable saree with her hair braided into a long plait with jasmine flowers and lovely 'jimkis' dangling in her ears.
When she goes to the sites on work....I join her too so that we can chat uninteruptedly during the long drives .
Once in the site , she climbs those make-shift steps not giving a tght to its safety while at the same time rattling off orders to the masons , giving instructions to the supervisors and then , would spread the plan on some crude platform and in a matter of fact tamil tone would reel off a lists of tasks for the workers there. The way she handles the carpenters ( who can give u a run for ur money) is admirable.
I usually wait in the ground floor ( am petrified of unprotected heights) and look in awe at the way she conducts herself.
I see beauty in the contrast. Her gentle looks and her work that involves not so gentle efforts.

3.Men and children at play.

I like to look at men when they are with kids. We see a completely different side to them..their business face is replaced with a softer , carefree look . And god forbid if its the grandfather of the child. He becomes marshmallows in the hands of the naughty little brats.
And that a real beautiful thing .
And usually these men are in such great mood that u can get ur way during that time :P

4.Brides .

Is there anything more beautiful than a bride ? The soft smile , the shy eyes and happiness written all over her face.
Added to that all the finery she wears and the grace with which she carries herself , is something that should not be missed. She basks in the glory of being the center of attraction and is a real-time heroine on her big day.
And in the tamil traditional weddings , the bride's hairdo is a heavy flower arrangement. The way she turns around , moving her shoulders instead of the neck is a real beauty.
Be it a bride of any religion...I think there is a glow in their face.

5. Regional folk dances.

I love those colorful folk dances danced to catchy tunes. The beauty is that its not a solo , and coordination is very important. And since it is in a large group the dancers throw each other meaningful glances as if they are sharing a secret ..giving each other secret smiles . The dance steps are usually repetitive and easy. The costumes are very colorful and accessories are local ones.
They portray a joint celebration and the happiness is passed from one to another and the entire gathering present is exhuberent.( Remember the party scene in 'The runaway bride'..now that's real fun :P )

6. A chef's face while explaining his work.

While ordering at restaurants , if a chef is called to explain how a dish is prepared...the way he (its always a 'he' ..I see lady chefs in TV shows only ) talks about the dish , abt the ingredients and the process ...punctuating it with heavy gestures...is so beautiful.
Its is more beautiful when the chef does not speak any English and has to act it out to explain everything.
A look more beautiful than this is the happy one that he gets when u call him back to pay him a compliment appreciating his culinery skills . I have seen this look on many people's faces when appreciated for some work well done.

Hey Bala...can I have a 'Kosuru' ? please ?
I really think the 'Syam and associates' party that has recently come to power where every member has a 'lucrative' portfolio is a great beauty :)
I really admire the deep friendship and easy comedy that this group possess. I feel their interactions bring out the beauty in blogging :)

One thing I noticed is , almost all male bloggers who have done this post , have mentioned "half-saree, lehanga clad girl" . Oh there is nothing to beat that dress ...esp the 'Pattu Paavadais'.

For my part..I want to say that I miss the 'Lungi' clad men of yore.
Except for the older generation , I only see shorts and sweat pants as casual wear these days . Whatever happened to our checkered 'Sangu Mark' lungis ?

These are a few beautiful things that came to my mind . I am sure there are many more like Surya , Vishaal , Saif , Akshay, Richard Gere, Tom Cruise and
Bruce Willis ;-) :))

I look forward to you ppl sharing what you think is beautiful :)

Wives and Section 375 IPC

Just a funny post and some of you may need parental permission to read it ;-)

Last week..when a bunch of junior advocates and wannabe advocates were idling at the office , the conversation turned to sec375 IPC.

For the purpose of this post..I will give a brief intro to secs 323,324 ,325,326and sec 375 of The Indian Penal Code .

Sections 323 to 326 deals with causing bodily injuries and the degree varies according to the weapons used and the gravity of the injury.

In Sec.375 ...The main aspects that constitute rape
1. is 'against the will' of the woman
2. and 'without her consent'
3. or fraudulently obtaining consent misleading the woman to believe that she
is his wife
4. with or without her consent when she is under sixteens years of age
5. or with a girl less than the age of fifteen if she is his wife.

It clearly says that the husband is protected from sec375 if she is his lawfully wedded wife (consent is granted) .

Almost all the women felt that the section shd be amended to include wives too . That is, the husband needs the consent of the wife...and it shd not be assumed that the wife has given her consent. Its either the wife be protected by sec375 or the husbands should be excluded from secs 323 to 326 IPC.

And as expected , the argument would be what if the wife agrees and then out of some other spite files a case against her husband...what defense would the husband have..what proof would he produce ? (There were jokes like..he shd keep a stamp paper ready to get her express consent :p :)) ).

Well...lets see the legal implications if the section is amended...the husband is in no better legal position than a man having an affair with any other woman . In affairs, the man is definitely exposed to sec.375 , if the lady decides to give the guy a difficult time . If a man is charged with rape and he claims he had her consent , the onus of proof is on the accused. Ofcourse he can always prove that they were going out together and she was his girl friend etc . But , its a hassle , and a major one.

I remember watching a movie where a high-school girl files a case against her school-mate for rape .She has an affair with him but subsequently breaks up with this guy..after the break-up, one late evening in the school premises he rapes her in his car and his current girl friend sees that. It would be argued in the court that since she previously went out with him , it would not amount to rape. But finally the girl friend becomes a witness and gives evidence that she heard the girl scream , saw the girl protest inside the car and she knew even at that time ,that it was rape.Finally the boy would be convicted . That was one new angle to the whole picture. (I really did'nt pay much attention to the name of the movie..).

Back to our topic..if the section protects wives..many husbands would rather lead a life of celibacy than get into trouble . The argument from the wives is that since they are not protected u/s375 IPC, (as it is now) , the only option for them would be to resort to violence . The sections that protects all from bodily injury are secs 323 to 326 IPC .(Men have no protection under Domestic violence act ).

The demand is if wives are not included in sec375 then husbands shd not be included in sec 323 to 326 (Its only against their wives..its applicable when the offender is anyone other than his wife).

They either get the consent or get beaten up . They have no legal help if they are bashed up by their wives .Ah..what a solution !

But all this would only lead to marital discord. And the next step is usually the family court or some marriage counsellor..and what would the advice be...'Concentrate on some activity that engages you or learn something new'...yeah and in the situation....the wife would opt to go to 'karate' classes and the husband shd attend 'body-building' classes :)

And all would be hunky-dory between them.....the women protects herself and the man can have fun too..whether he has his wife's consent or not.

Now , do you get the point ....that its the height of absurdity to ask for wives to be protected under sec375 IPC ? The very idea behind the institution of marriage fails if this is done . I strongly feel things should be left as it is .

இனிய புத்தாண்டு நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள் !

இந்த இனிய நன்னாளில் உங்கள் எல்லா கனவுகளும் நினைவாக வாழ்த்துக்கள் !

Potpourri

When I spoke of 'Magizhampoo' in my summer vacation post, I was reminded of some other flowers that have become rare to find these days. All these flowers have such sweet fragrance .

'Kodi Sampangi' is one..these are bell shaped green color flowers and blooms in clusters...the plant as the name suggests ('Kodi' means a creeper) is a creeper with just one hardy twining trunk.The petals have a light yellow tinge and the flowers cannot be tied into a string like jasmines...they have to be threaded using a needle .

'Oosi malli' ('Oosi' means 'needle' and ofcourse Malli is Jasmine) the flower resembles a needle...atleast 2 inches long and has a long stalk too. When in bloom the petals droop down and when stringed together , they look like a bunch of white thread.

'Soundarya Kanakaambaram' ..Oh the color ! Its a deep saffron color and the petals are more sturdy than the regular ones . Even a six inch stringed piece of this flower can add a dash of color and looks attractive.

'Manoranjitham'..Atleast this flower can still to be seen here and there and I know many ppl who loves its fragrance. Intoxicating is what it is.
(Incidentaly , this is close to me bcos I was chosen to be this flower , in a flower dance we did in school when I was in 4th class :P ....now , I dont want anyone associating the tough look of the flower to me being selected ;-) ....just take my word when I say it was random selection :P But I was disappointed during the actual dance as all the 'jasmines' and 'roses' were all decked up with those flowers from head to toe while the teachers had to go from pole to post.. to collect manoranjithams..unfair eh ? :( )

'Changing rose'...this is one magic flower ..it's white in color in the morning and as the day progresses , changes to pink to deep pink ..then majenta and becomes red by the evening...oh what fun it was to watch its color change during classes in school :P

'Paneer Roja' this is dark baby pink in color..if there is something called 'sweet fragrance' it is this. It blooms in clusters of three or four and unlike the regular roses is very delicate and has less petals with a yellow centre ,the pollen very visible. These are not the pink hybrid variety..(hee hee..the petals taste yummy too :P )

'Nagalinga poo' Though I see these in some parks in Chennai , it used to be one of the regular flowers for pooja a few years back .I like to take the little lingam out of the flower after the pooja :P

'Sentu Malli' ...A variety of jasmine that has a deep jasmine scent but looks like a miniature white rose.

'Thaazham poo'.. This is a flower with a peculiar shape and strong fragrance and can diffuse an entire room with its smell. It was used in 'kadambam' previously ...but is missing now. During summer vacations it used to be a ritual to decorate the plaits of little girls with this flower ... it is called 'thazhampoo jadai' .

'Thumba poo'...this plant is a wild one and the flowers were very special for poojas. They look like 'baby's breath'..tiny and sparkling white in color.

A couple of flowers my dad misses.
'Neel Kamal'....My dad claims to have seen Blue lotuses on the Chennai-Kanchipuram highway when he was in his teens. But there is always an argument bet. us about it. I say that there is no blue lotus and he is talking about blue lilies. He is still in search of some place where there is 'Neel kamal'.

'Kadamba poo' ..when he talks about this he always says 'Kandhaa...Kadambaa' and he described the flower to me...a great smelling , ball shaped fuzzy flower that grows on med. height trees. Once when I found a similar tree somewhere , we walked there for half an hour and both of us were very disappointed to see it was a diff. one...but this one was cute too.

Its nice to see the asters , gerberas, tuber-roses, dhalias , chrysanthamums ,
orchids , gladioli , carnations etc (the cut flower ones) stocked up in lots of places....but I miss the flowers I mentioned too .

If you can think of any other flower that is going extinct..please write about it.

Art of War

There are some books which you can finish within a few days..some you keep by your bedside and keep reading a page or two just before dozing off.
The present one in the second category for me is Art of War by Sun Tzu .
Some parts are beyond my comprehension but some are very interesting.
I found some good advice in these points .

" If not in the interests of the state, do not act. If you cannot succeed, do not use troops. If you are not in danger, do not fight "

" A sovereign cannot raise an army because he is enraged , nor can a general fight because he is resentful.For while an angered man may again be happy , and a resentful man again be pleased , a state that has perished cannot be restored , nor can the dead be brought back to life ."

" Therefore , the enlightened ruler is prudent and the good general is warned against rash action. Thus the state is kept secure and the army preserved. "

like it ?
Have a happy week !

Childhood vacations :)

Bala has asked me to write about eight summer vacations I have enjoyed..yeah..I enjoy vacations..period..be it summer or any other season :)

I am not writing it chronologically but I will just start from my childhood vacations .

Most of my life was spent at my grandparents place and it was the meeting ground for all of us cousins :)

I am very lucky to have a cousin of my age and we used to be the best of playmates. My cousin L was living in a joint family and so used to visit us only during weekends..(this was our maternal grandma's place ) .

Our grandpa's place was a huge big house surrounded by a well planned garden with lots of trees and we used to treat it like one big play area. L used to come up with novel games that involved mud , clay , water ..everything that my grandma disapproved of ...but very exciting for us kids :)

L's house had a water boiler ( the traditional one made of copper with the chute in the middle where u put the fuel..twigs, coal, dried cow dung mixed with god knows what all stuff). Yeah..u can see these in tea stalls even today :)
L taught me how to prepare 'boiler urundai' (original ones are made with cow dung+ all stuffs mixed and shaped into balls and sun-dried) using clay , mud and water :)

oooohhhh !!! I tell u there is nothing akin to the pleasure of dipping ur hands in cold wet clay and mud mixture. She was a good tutor..taught me how to knead it and make it into perfect spheres. But where we went wrong was the place we chose to dry it....right on the newly painted window sill of my grandparents bedroom :(
Oh that was the greatest crime :( the ball sat there alright...but the muddy water dripped all over the place and created a big mess.

Then she taught me how to do 'patties' (virati) out of the same stuff...haa haaa...this is a great skill where u need to slap the mud mixture real hard on the wall to make it stick. We used up the entire East facing wall to dry our 'patties' .

In the evening when my grandmother opened the windows , one by one the boiler urundais were rolling out :(
I need to tell you that my grandma is skilled in caning and always had a cane handy
:( . Had it not been for my lovely grandpa..we wld have been history by now :) After our chores were over..we'd walk into the hall , on the carpets..with our muddy feet and hands and plop ourselves on the sofa ....I think my grandma became a BP patient because of us :P

Then , once we had entrepreneural ideas and wanted to start our own business. We had abundant goose berries (not the big round ones..these were the small indented Amlas) in the garden and both of us picked them from the ground and took it out near the gate and made piles of those on a neatly spread towel :) we have experience going to fish markets with our ppl and so know how to haggle :) . Believe me...our first venture was a utter flop as not a soul came to buy them...it was our neighbour's ( who happens to be my grandpa's brother) gardener Kannan..again someone whom we know rt from our birth ...who bought some taking pity on us. Later as the sun went up , we gave up, putting our failure down to bad location and donated all the gooseberries to Kannan and closed our business..atleast we had'nt invested much :P

This was the time when we were into games like 7 stones , 5 stones , Paandi (Hopscotch) and lots of games with little shells ( cowrie shells). Evenings would be marked with grandpa taking us to the beach and we would fly kites there.....the kite vendor had to pull the kite up...but later we got the hang of it...and its such a pleasure to do it in the beach even now :)

There was another adventure..where we'd go flower picking :) We used to love 'Magizham poo' I just dont know what its called in English....its a light brown...tiny flower that blooms in a huge tree and it has a natural bore in the center so that it can be threaded and worn as a string. Oh ! Its fragrance is heavenly...in Chennai you can see that tree in woodlands drive-in restaurant right across the the parking lot, adjacent to the play area. Its one huge big tree and luckily the ground below is paved so its easy to pick flowers there :P
L and I used to go to the third house from ours and there were two huge trees there...while we were picking flowers from the pavement...the aunty from the house invited us to pick from inside the house too :P That house had all those fancy accessories like fountains. We gladly obliged and got ourselves wet by going near the fountains and were so happy to come back home and thread the flowers. But it was not a happy ending ...that aunty had to call my grandma praising (?) our flower picking skills and u know what happened after that :(

Then came the phase of moms putting us in several summer classes...out of all the classes I attended , I only learnt swimming and fell for it hook ,line and sinker (literally) :P

Later during teens we were more into reading , watching movies and learning driving . Most of the time we would be together doing our girly girly talks.
My grandpa used to take us fishing regularly...on retrospect I think its to make us help him with winding the reel ... with the knots and run general errands :)
But small games were fun and we have caught little fishes ( koduva) . Sometimes those were used as baits for big games . Big games were nothing but a big bore where u cast the line and wait , wait and wait for the baracuda to come and bite :P

When I was around fifteen my mom wanted me to learn sewing and type-writing...and at the end of two months I had one crooked hanky and a trapezium shaped pillow case to talk of my sewing skills . As for typewriting , I could flawlessly type asdfgf ;lkjhj while use the correct fingers at the same time :))

But our summer vacations had generous sprinklings of card games (rummy) , cycling , visits and travelling :)

I think more than anything its the innocence that really made us enjoy those vacations...no exotic holidays, foreign travels or luxury cruises can bring back those times and that happiness.

Thank you very much Bala...for making me take a trip down memory lane to those wonderful times :)

Ravi , Pegasus , Just Words , Adiya , Harish , Syam (Natamai) and KK !
Would you like to write a post about ur childhood summer vacations ?
It's fun , I promise !!! :)