Sweet Granny and Super Sivarathiris..

This post is similar to the theme movies that our channels telecast to go with the season :)

Tommorrow is Sivarathiri on which day Lord shiva is worshipped even during the night.
One is expected to be awake in the night and an elaborate plan is drawn to keep sleep at bay.
I am wondering how many households are still preparing for it in the traditional style.
It kindles in me memories of Sivarathiris we had celebrated in my grand-parents house as kids.
It used to be a kitty party of sorts.
All my aunts and their families would gather at my grand-mother's place to perform the pooja. So we kids had a good chance to spend an entire day together.

My grand-mother and her team would make a sweet item called "Thiruvadhirai uruvaakali' in bulk and after the morning pooja, used to take our help distributing it in the neighbourhood.
Viradhams were followed and poojas were conducted in timely intervals.
A big gang used to travel together to visit Shivalayams.
Neighbours and relatives would frequent the place and they would sit in batches and plan the agenda for the night.
All kinds of traditional games would come out of their hiding places and the coins were counted and boards were kept ready.

The evening started at around 7:00 PM when all the ladies would gather in a large hall (in my grandparents' place it was the outhouse).
(I always got the impression that they did'nt want to disturb the sleeping men in the main house..but in retrospect, I think that the men must have had their own kind of party!)

The dinner is part of their viradham of not having rice and the usual accompaniments.
(Please dont even think that the viradham as the name suggests had anything to do with fasting...infact its just the opposite :) )
It comprises of all the tiffin items and snacks that one can phathom.
Every relative would get something from her kitchen and it was one great pot-luck event.
Bunches of bananas and grapes, dozens of seasonal fruits would be consumed throughout the night, not to speak of payasams and other sweet-meats !
( If anyone asks me what kind of a viradham it is where you dont eat steamed rice but eat steamed rice batter ....I guess Idlies are light while rice and the side-dishes are heavy provided one eats just a few idlies !)

And the games event would start after the first round of dinner. Although we can see some groups already in progress even before the official trigger is pulled which in this case is my grand-mother sitting down to play.
Here I have to say that my grand-mother's aunt (mother's sister )- (Ranganaaya) who would be quiet during the day time would slowly creep out of her bed and join one of the senior groups.
Had there been a "Dhaayam" event in Olympics..this great-grandma would have bagged the gold.

As told by my mother (from her memories of Sivarathri at her grandma's place), Ranganaaya was part of the 'Bhajana Ghoshtee' that would sing devotional songs throughout the night. She was a great patron of the "Kadha Kaalakshebams" during her prime. Trusted sources even say that she was part of a "kolaatam" team and would dance away to glory, till the break of day. So a generation before my grandma's , kadha kalakshebams, bhajans and dances were the ones that kept them awake on Sivarathiris.

Some of the games that were played were...

Dhaayam: It was the most popular of the lot and it was the first preference to many. There is another side to this preference. It is believed that playing this game of chance brings ill-luck (can be tracked to mythology) and so is SRICTLY prohibited in the house.
The only exceptions to this rule are "Sivarathri" and "Ekadesi" nights when you are allowed to play Dhaayam to your heart's fill.

This game is a more complicated form of today's 'Ludo'. The player or the team that achieves to bring all their coins to a central "Home" first, wins the game.
The main attraction of the game is all the screams and yelling that go with it. You can hear the players shouting "Oru dhaayam daa" or "Oru panandu daaa" as if their very cry would roll the dice to the required sum . And also the opponent shouting the unwanted number to irritate the other person.People would take sides and there would be general cheering going on.

Pallaanguzhi: This is a game which requires a special wooden box with seven cups carved on both the sides along with little shells called "sozhie". The game starts with five shells in each cup on both the sides. The player who is left with less than five shells at the end, loses his game. There is a special game in which upto four playes can play...but I never got the hang of it and so stuck to the original two players game.

Paramapadham: This is nothing but our 'Snake and Ladder' but with a large printed sheet .It has lots of figures printed in it..a few of them quite wierd.It has snakes which roughly translated could range from one inch to 150 feet and the same goes for ladders too.
God help if one is bitten by the big one. This is also an exciting game where there are lots of twists and turns.

There are other games like 'Aadu puli aatam' and 'Sokattaan' and the only thing I know about them are their names.

So the ladies would move from one game to another and there would be general chatter . I would stay awake only till 12:30 or 1:30 AM. So I am not sure if they stay awake all night. I assume that the ladies would also
lightly doze off and then wake up again to resume the games.

What I like best about Sivarathiri is the way my grand-mother and her contemporaries who always appear all grown-up and matter-of-fact let down their guard and get into a carefree mood. It made me realise that there is a playful side to my grandma who does'nt otherwise appear so.

Sivarathiri is one occasion that helped me understand my grandmother and makes me remember her as a sweet, joyous and loving person though she likes to refer to herself as 'strict' .

Happy Sivarathiri to you all !!!

A Declining Passion

Came across this rhyme in 'Charlie and the Chocolate factory'..
It echos my views on today's book-reading and TV watching habits.

---------------------

Oh,books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago !
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.


Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And Children hitting you with sticks -
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.


And once they start - oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowing growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.


-------------------------

P.S. My idea of a little heaven..(from the same poem)

"One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wonderous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales! "
_______________________________

The third Gender

I was witness to a very unpleasant incident a couple of weeks back while I was seated at the front desk of a shop.
A Eunuch had come to the shop asking for some money and the men who were gathered in the vicinity made gestures and uttered words that would make a sailor blush.
I could not help but compare this to balking at a handicapped person or uttering profanities at the so called lower classes.
The former has everybody's sympathy while the latter has legal remedy .

Actually it took me all this time to do this post because I was scrutinising all related (legal) Acts and wanted to see if there is atleast one section under which they can seek remedy.
No points for guessing....the result I came up with is "Zero".
I found some Act that mentioned them and was very hopeful until I understood what it was enacted for.

The 1897 amendment to the Criminal Tribes Act of 1871, which was subtitled "An Act for the Registration of Criminal Tribes and Eunuchs". Under this law, the local government was required to keep a register of the names and residences of all eunuchs who were "reasonably suspected of kidnapping or castrating children or committing offences under Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code".
Something similar to the rowdy-sheet that the police maintain.
Though further enquiries revealed that this act is not followed in the present day.

If not anything else there should be a law in the country similar to
"The scheduled Castes and The Scheduled Tribes Act" , which protects them and penalises wrong-doers who
"intentionally insults or intimidates with intent to humiliate a member of a SC or ST in any place within pubic view".
Why can't the eunuchs be placed in a similar category?
Are they not treated with more repulsiveness?
The place with the most scope for abuse is the police station where the police, on a regular basis, violate all canons of civilised behaviour by physically, sexually and verbally abuse and humiliate them.
The discrimination and violence that the Eunuchs face show that it is high time that both the government and the human rights movement in the country begin to take this issue with the seriousness it deserves.

Armed with all this information I discussed this with many Junior Advocates (albeit their discomfort discussing this taboo topic) . When I asked why no public interest litigation was filed for them, they did not have one good word for the community. If on the one side people ridicule them , there is another set of people (mostly men) who are petrified of them.
The gist of the discussion was that the Eunuchs are a confused ,
sex-starved ,obsessed and ill-mannered set of people in their opinion.

The police in turn reels off a long list of atrocities that the Eunuchs specialise in.
The law that is used most to threaten the Eunuchs, as well as the homosexual community in India, is Section 377 of the IPC, which criminalises "carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal" even if it is voluntary.
They are actively invloved in brothel-keeping, trafficking, pimping and soliciting which fall under ''The Immoral Traffic Prevention Act ".
So legal system is very apprehensive about giving them protection as this will lead to misuse.
There were many who plainly told me that Eunuchs do not need any protection and if there is any need , it should be the other way round.

So I understood that there are many faces to this problem and there could not be any remedy by just creating a law to protect them.
What needs to be done is effective tackling of the problem from multi-directions. A consolidated effort will be more effective.
There may defenitely be problems faced by the law enforcement authorities from this community. But what can we expect from a community that is shamed , disgraced and most of all shunned from the society for ages.
It is such a pity that they are not accepted by their own families.
They need to be treated as human-beings, be given equal oppurtunities and employment benefits and benefits that handicapped people are entitled to.

The Govt needs to set up schools in each State if not in each district where these people can be taught how to deal with their handicap.
They can be taught to earn a living legally and in a fulfilling manner.
The important aspect is to give them counselling in handling their sexuality.
They need to be taught to dress down, tone down their speech and desist from the common practices like 'clapping'.
They should work towards 'mainstreaming' themselves, and focus on expression of their hidden talents that can contribute to them being accepted as citizens in their own rights.
The NGOs can also conduct work-shops to educate them and bring about awareness in them.

The society in turn needs to be a little more tolerant and understand that its not their fault to be born with such a great handicap.
If the handicapped are facing physical problems these people are facing both physical and psychological problems.
The public cannot be ignorant or insensitive.
Even children need to be educated that there are people with differences and it should not come in the way of their right to be treated with respect.
They need our sympathy and support not ridicule and shame.

Times are changing and with growing education and awareness I am sure it is not a great feat to live in relative harmony and tolerance for different kinds of people with mutual respect and regard.
Afterall have'nt we achieved what had to be done for the physically challenged ?

Well, I for one am very hopeful about the future.

Tall dark handsome...Tamil...

I am always teased by the telugus and other neighbouring state friends that we tamilians like dark and hunky heros in our movies.
(Telugus think that their 'Chiru' is one handsome smart guy).
They are shocked at Rajinikanth's, Vijaykanth's and all the other dark kanths' and non-kanths' success in Tamilnadu.
Typical kosten is 'epadee sree..u ppl like these guys...they are dark..flabby.....' etc.
This made me think...do we really like dark, a little plumpy guys with an interior part of Tamilnadu accent ?
When I went to North India recently..I kept weighing the looks of average Northie guys against our Tamils.
After thinking a lot I felt the Northie guys looked a tad bit girlie with no mush and a light complexion.
All these coupled with their skinny structure will make them look like lost souls in Tamilnadu.
Bring the image of Rajini and our very own Gaptan....hmm..I prefer that to the 'ayyo paavam' look of the typical northie guys.
Our heros look protective and give us a sense of belonging.
Their language makes us feel at home.
So maybe we can't generalise preferences as it is very regional.
Considering the Hindi movie heroes...I can give 85% marks only to Akshay Kumar and Jackie shroff.
Beats me why the ' Men's fair&lovely ' or whatever it is, is wasting their money on advts here in TN.
Move away Zyeds and Amirs.....we want Vishal and Vijay anyday.

what do I call this ?

Yesterday we had our usual 9 yr old visitor 'J'.She is soooo fond our little dog that she gets all her clothes for the dog :)
J is such a sweet...well-mannered....cute little thing. Infact I think I have had more well meaning conversations with her than I had had with many of my peers...well..its mostly girlie talks and she wanted to know if what all she heard in school were true.
And I have also played the role of "Naatamai" for all her 'school bus' tiffs.
She was here the day before too and I remembered she telling me that there were lots of relatives at her place and she wanted to be here till late evening..
Our usually happy...bubbly...exhuberant J was very dull and looked like she had cried for a long time. I enquired about her relatives and wanted to know what the occasion was...for which she said " I have a brother and a sister " Believe it or not...these were her exact words.
I had a biiiiig question mark on my face...and J continued.. "yesterday after going from here I was taken to the hospital to see my brother and sister... " It was then that things dawned on me.
She has twin siblings. Then she continued..."but I was very unhappy..
I cried for hours . I never wanted siblings and my parents knew that "
I was speechless.
I could not believe that the child did not know all these months that she was going to be a sister. I asked.."but J ..you must have known all these days...did'nt you see your mom's tummy?"and she said "My mom is always big".
I dont know what to make of this...her parents are educated...her father dotes on her. What were they doing all these months not preparing her for a new arrival into their home and very much into their lives. How is this child going to bond with her siblings...and what about the little ones.. Will they know that they have a sister who does'nt want them..
I dont know what to call these ppl's behavior..inconsiderate....down right cruel.
I really hope that she will start loving the kids and everything will work out for the family!!

"samarthiyam aa iru "

There is so much talk about street smartness these days...wonder if we are missing out on the meaning.

But I see a lot of ppl behaving very funnily.

Especillay where it comes to giving out information.

Agreed "information is power" ...but does that mean one shd not reveal where her dhupatta was bought.

Girls especially do not want to reveal where a particular dress or sandals or accessory was bought lest the other person becomes a "competitor " . This puts me off.

When there is so much stress on "team spirit" ,Can these petty people be good players?

A commom conversation among friends

"lovely dress paaa....where did u get it...?'

"hmm..haaan....from kalpastree......" everyone around knows its not from there.

Sometimes even I wonder..."ayyo...naan saamarthiyama irukanum.." and mentally prepare myself with mock conversations but as soon I see a bunch of friends, I let my hair down and say..."ayyao...samarthiyam goes to hell...naan enjoy pannidanum".

Dont know if this will help me in the long run..but for today I think I am happier than the "Samaarthiyam"s.

Naanum photo eduppen

Hello Friends.....Seeing all the photographic blogs here...I wanted to post a picture that I took well...clicked.

All the experts explain how the pictures were taken...light...focus...angle...etc.

Here is mine.......I looked down.....saw if the picture was in the frame...and clicked... Voila!!! This is what I got...er..you got.

Now waiting for your expert comments.