Saturday, 16 June 2007

Adultery in Indian law

********************



The debate whether the Law against adultery favors women is an age old one. I have been hearing this argument right from the time I was thrown in the midst of Lawyers.

When I read Prerna's post about it some time ago , I was reminded of Ankur's post on the same subject. And I think they have dicussed the issue very well.

But when I asked a few lawyers their opinion , I got looks that said 'oh !not the same old one' .

Though the debate is an old one , there are many questions still unanswered.

The question that interested me is 'what does the law attempt to achieve by this section'

Adultery is dealt in two ways by Indian Law. Under Penal Law its a criminal offence and in Matrimonial Law it can be used as a ground for divorce and nothing more (though it has a great impact on the wife's right to maintenance ).

Both under Penal law and Matrimonial law, adultery is an offence against marriage.
But the difference between the two is , under Penal Law the adulterer is the accused and
is penalised while the wife (adulteress) goes unpunished.

In the matrimonial court when a petition for divorce is filed on grounds of adultery,
the main relief is sought against the spouse and not against the adulterer though he may
be a party to the proceedings.
And the glaring difference is that in the Penal law the right is conferred only on the husband while in Matrimonial law both the spouses can use adultery as grounds for divorce.

So Matrimonial Law makes complete sense as the discretion of living with the erring
spouse is given to the wronged spouse and relief can be sought using this as grounds.

The futility of the section in Penal Law

What is most significant in the penal offence of adultery is that invariably the husband takes his vengeance against the third person, i.e. the adulterer .

The criminal action is filed not against the wife but against the adulterer. The wife is not guilty of offence, not even as an abettor.

The adulterer is considered 'an outsider to the matrimonial unit who invades the peace
and privacy of the matrimonial unit and poisons the relationship between the two
partners constituting the matrimonial unit.'

Thus it shifts the entire blame on the third person , and in the process the erring wife
goes scott-free . The wronged husband takes it out on the third person and not his wife.

Is'nt this akin to asking a child that has fallen down to hit the floor with all its might
to ease the pain ? The child shifts the blame on to the floor and feels happy that
things are taken care of , till the next time it falls down. It goes on and on until the child
learns to walk properly.

Similarly the Law should not confer this futile right on the husband but expect him
to deal with his marital problems within his home. He has no right to blame a third person
while his wife is part of the scenario. The ultimate shame a husband can face in matrimony is an adulterous wife and blaming it on a third person is like drenching himself in filth.

He can either condone the offence in a spirit of 'forgive and forget' and live together
or seperate by approaching a matrimonial court and snapping the tie by securing divorce.

Adultery under Penal Law should be repealed as being useless , outdated , obsolete and downright illogical.

*******************************************************

62 comments:

Ankur said...

//Adultery under Penal Law should be repealed as being useless , outdated , obsolete and downright illogical.//
i agree adultery is not a criminal crime.... at worse it is a ground for divorce ....
and i really feel sorry for the adulterer... that guy has done nothing wrong...
BTW what happens if that adulterer is a gigolo?

Ankur said...

btw... i (bachelor) meet a cute looking stranger (female) and have sex... so u mean to say i could have committed a crime?

Sree's Views said...

Hey Ankur...
why ? what is so special about a public adulterer ?

Sree's Views said...

Hey Ankur...
the law does not differentiate between a 'cute' or 'not so cute' stranger.
the only thing is whether u were aware of her marital status .
were u ?

Ankur said...

the spouses took a vow... which they broke... so they can be booked... but the guy did nothing of that sort?

what if he does not even know her name...
but looking at her attire he could have guessed... but did not pay that much attention to her?

Sree's Views said...

Ankur ,

the spouses took a vow... which they broke... //
just one of them.

so they can be booked... //
no..they cannot be booked.neither the wife nor the husband.

but the guy did nothing of that sort? //
yes ! full points :)



what if he does not even know her name...
but looking at her attire he could have guessed... but did not pay that much attention to her? //
it all depends on whether the husband lodges a complaint or chooses to ignore it.
If he does , then it is to be seen during the trial if he has sufficient cause to believe that she was unmarried.

..and that wld be $500 USD :)

Ankur said...

#so they can be booked... //
no..they cannot be booked.neither the wife nor the husband.#

i thought the husband could be punished in infidelity

Prerna said...

// the spouses took a vow... which they broke... so they can be booked... but the guy did nothing of that sort?//.Valid point.Even if he knew she was a married woman he was at best immoral..nothing more. The responsibility lies with the married couple of maintaining the sanctity of the marriage.
Nice post Sree. Ankur has made the discussion as interesting as his blog.

Sree's Views said...

Ankur

Hello Ankur...
//i thought the husband could be punished in infidelity //

Your post very accurately listed all the ingredients of Adultery in Penal Law.

The few things that has to be noted are

1. The adulteress (wife) cannot be prosecuted.
2. Its only the husband who can prosecute the adulterer who is an outsider.
3.The only person who is prosecuted is the adulterer.

The Court gives the following reason to support the law

"It constitutes a legislative package to deal with the offence committed by an outsider to the matrimonial unit and poisons the relationship between the two partners constituting the matrimonial unit"

The very object as given here is to punish a man who has sexual relationship with a married woman and that would act as a deterance.

This should not be confused with the spouses prosecuting each other.

The Law permits neither the husband of the offending wife to prosecute his wife nor does it permit the wife to prosecute the offending husband for being disloyal to her. Both the husband and wife are disabled for striking each other using criminal Law.

The philosophy of the court is that as between the husband and the wife social goodwill be promoted by permitting them to 'make-up' or 'break'up' .

The only course of action for either of the spouse is to use adultery as a ground for divorce.

Sree's Views said...

PRERNA

Hello Prerna..
I had dismissed this law for being a a very commonly discussed one. Thanks to u for injecting interest into it.

The responsibility lies with the married couple of maintaining the sanctity of the marriage.//
exactly.

and Yes..Ankur has the knack of making even the most mundane subject very interesting by bringing his own unimitable style of humor.

Thanks Prerna.

Ankur said...

//The Law permits neither the husband of the offending wife to prosecute his wife nor does it permit the wife to prosecute the offending husband for being disloyal to her. Both the husband and wife are disabled for striking each other using criminal Law.//
wow... so i had read the law all wrong....
so if a husband cheats... the wife cannot punish neither the husband or the adulteress (except divorcing him and making it easier to marry the other woman)

However if the wife cheats... the husband can start a criminal investigation against the wife's lover.

i thought the law was pro-female... but it looks like pro male to me...

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR

happpppaaaa !!!
Finally someone agrees with me.
Yes...it's pro-male and any time I say that , they start of volley of kostens about why
1.the wife goes unpunished.
(wth...the husband goes unpunished too)
2. the other woman cannot be prosecuted like how the adulterer is.

they are only talking abt how the erring wife or the 'other woman' goes scott free.

why are'nt the wronged wife and the wife of the 'adulterer' considered
'women' too ?
what justice is provided to these souls ?

I esp feel sorry for housewives who have no career and are dependant on their husbands who cannot do a thing except feel helpless and either has to choose a sordid divorce and literally fight for maintenance or swallow her pride and stick with that guy.

Then there is another case where the husband falsely alleges the wife of adultery as grounds of divorce to avoid providing maintenance.
(adultery as the ground has a significant effect on the rt of maintenance by the wife) .

//the wife cannot punish neither the husband or the adulteress (except divorcing him and making it easier to marry the other woman) //
u simply took these words from my mind.
this is exactly what I asked...
by going to the court and taking a divorce , what does the wronged party achieve ?
they facilitate things for the erring spouse.

( I have seen a woman blaming the advocate for suggesting divorce..she said "I dont want to give divorce and let him live with her happily"....all that we can do is pity her as everyones hands are tied..there is no other remedy..except use our legal prowess)

But practically it makes sense as what is the point in penalising the spouse or forcing the uninterested party to stay in 'holy matrimony' ?
Is'nt it not better to sever the relationship and move on with their individual lives ?

Voracious Blog Reader said...

:)

Will comment later. Sorry Shree, hope this doesn't continue for long.

Voracious Blog Reader

Ankur said...

//happpppaaaa !!!
Finally someone agrees with me.//
yups one of the few lessons which i learned the hard the hard way... never argue with a woman.

//why are'nt the wronged wife and the wife of the 'adulterer' considered 'women' too ?//
haven't u heard of pati Parmeshwar (husband is a god) and can a god do any SIN?

//I esp feel sorry for housewives who have no career and are dependant on their husbands //
well what can I say beggars cannot be choosers. the day a woman feels that the only way she can survive is via her husband... she is doomed.

I do not know if it is right or wrong... but everywhere in this world a desperate man/woman can never get the best deal.

//Then there is another case where the husband falsely alleges the wife of adultery as grounds of divorce to avoid providing maintenance.//
well a woman can as well do that... (infact i wrote an article on dowry on that) and its the duty of the courts to find out the truth.

//this is exactly what I asked...
by going to the court and taking a divorce , what does the wronged party achieve ?
they facilitate things for the erring spouse.//
pride and self respect... and these things are even worth dying for.

//she said "I dont want to give divorce and let him live with her happily"....//
its not a question of whether he will be happy or not.. its a question of what is best for you... in life u need to toss rotten apples and move ahead.

//there is no other remedy..except use our legal prowess)//
and what do you wish to achieve by using that?

//Is'nt it not better to sever the relationship and move on with their individual lives ?//
or stay bitter for ever and make your life, your kids life and life of everybody around miserable.

saravansivan said...

Oops,until sometime back inga Sreey'oda blog irunduchu..yaaro misplace pannitaanga pola..Sorry wrong number..edho periyavanga vishayam pesraangapa inga...

Sree's Views said...

Hey Partnerrrr !!!

What only is going on pal?
Long time no see !
missing u !
Get ur machine fixed soon .

take care , Kootaleee :))
naan jilebi paala oora pottu
try pannen , super aa irundhudhu.
ungalukum parceeeelll!!!

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR

Ankur...

//this is exactly what I asked...
by going to the court and taking a divorce , what does the wronged party achieve ?
they facilitate things for the erring spouse.//
pride and self respect... and these things are even worth dying for. //

I actually saw the woman in a state of complete breakdown.. .What drove her to a law office is the hope that her husband wld mend ways . Though I did not know much abt law then , I was feeling very sorry for her. Its just empty pride and self respect we are talking abt here . She and her kids were left like orphans , while the guy was having a balle .
The law provides divorce as relief and she has to claim maintenance. is'nt it hilarious ?
Ok..she divorces her husband , do u think she shd take maintenance ?
what abt pride then ? or does she let her kids starve ?
I think there shd be a serious deterrance to this than having a stupid section for Adultery and rubbing balm to a man's ego by giving him the right to hit a third person.

//she said "I dont want to give divorce and let him live with her happily"....//
its not a question of whether he will be happy or not.. its a question of what is best for you... in life u need to toss rotten apples and move ahead. //
Yes..practically what u say is absolutely right..there is no greater futility than staying in a bad relationship.
but its easier said that done .
She is in her forties with kids , no career and her partner of not less than two decades has just deserted her for another woman...
Eventually she has to come to terms but it wld be a traumatic thing .

//there is no other remedy..except use our legal prowess)//
and what do you wish to achieve by using that?
beat the living daylights out of that guy :)
show him and his people what messing really means :)

Ankur said...

//She and her kids were left like orphans , while the guy was having a balle .//
well marriage is like any other relationship... if it goes well u r in the heaven.. if it does not.... after some point no matter what u do, does not matter.... and like any friendship.. external influence or law cannot menf the damage... all they can do is damage control.

//The law provides divorce as relief and she has to claim maintenance. is'nt it hilarious ?//
so what do u think law should do?

//Ok..she divorces her husband , do u think she shd take maintenance ?
what abt pride then ?//
hire people like u and litigate him to penury :) that is what i would call justice.

//I think there shd be a serious deterrance to this than having a stupid section for Adultery and rubbing balm to a man's ego by giving him the right to hit a third person.//
u cannot stop 2 consenting adults from having sex... can u?

//Eventually she has to come to terms but it wld be a traumatic thing .//
life is no bed of roses.. she will come to her senses.

//beat the living daylights out of that guy :)
show him and his people what messing really means :)//
never knew lawyers had so many connections?

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR

Hey Ankur ,

//happpppaaaa !!!
Finally someone agrees with me.// #
I meant u agree that there is no significant favor towards woman in this law.

yups one of the few lessons which i learned the hard the hard way... never argue with a woman. //
no lesson can deter u from arguing :)
but this time I thgt there was no argument ?

haven't u heard of pati Parmeshwar (husband is a god) and can a god do any SIN? //
probably the earlier versions had this interpretation...it has considerably changed now

well what can I say beggars cannot be choosers. the day a woman feels that the only way she can survive is via her husband... she is doomed. //
instead of fixing the legal minimum age for girls to marry , its better to fix a minimum qualification or saleable skill as requirement before marriage.
parents wont change otherwise.


I do not know if it is right or wrong... but everywhere in this world a desperate man/woman can never get the best deal. //
its better to learn to deal with oneself than depend on the goodness of another :(


well a woman can as well do that... (infact i wrote an article on dowry on that) and its the duty of the courts to find out the truth. //
so u know what 'legal prowess' means ;)

but the flip side is the woman shd be absolutely sure that she is willing to part her husband. In all the cases that I have seen a man falsely accused of dowry demand , downright refuses to join his wife whatever the circumstances maybe.

or stay bitter for ever and make your life, your kids life and life of everybody around miserable. //
:)

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR

//if it goes well u r in the heaven.. if it does not.... after some point no matter what u do, does not matter.... //
yes..its just a matter of compatibility.
I know a couple who did finance business and took public money and absconded :) they got along admirably :)
All said and done , its basic principles that guide all relationships , that guide marriage too. If one does something to a spouse that he/she wld'nt dream of doing to a friend , the marriage is on the rocks . So discipline plays a major role.

external influence or law cannot menf the damage... all they can do is damage control. //
yes..damage control. like provide for the wife and kids in this case .

//The law provides divorce as relief and she has to claim maintenance. is'nt it hilarious ?//
so what do u think law should do?//
I am tempted to say 'penalise him..throw him in the jail' ..but I know how fruitless that wld be.
I guess some relief that would act as a deterrance plus put the woman in a better position has to be formulated.

rubbing balm to a man's ego by giving him the right to hit a third person.//
u cannot stop 2 consenting adults from having sex... can u? //
yes..but atleast they should be taught to put an end to one relationship before embarking on another.

show him and his people what messing really means :)//
never knew lawyers had so many connections? //
no its got nothing to do with connections...its all to do with using the right law .

Sree's Views said...

SARAVANSIVAN

Oops,until sometime back inga Sreey'oda blog irunduchu..yaaro misplace pannitaanga pola..Sorry wrong number..edho periyavanga vishayam pesraangapa inga... //
:))
Indha kindal dhaaney venangaradhu :)
Nalla joke adikareenga, Saravan !

have a great day !

Voracious Blog Reader said...

Hi pangaali,

Computer vandhuduthu. Aana net connection innum illai. :(

Planning to get one soon. Sorry ba.

Thanks for the parcel. Indhaango strawberry milkshake.

Voracious Blog Reader

Sree's Views said...

Hey partnerrr,

net connection illaya ?
oh ok..seekiram vaangidunga :)

hoi! strawberry milkshake la
ice cream potel dhaaney ?
I dont like the diet version without
ice cream :))

ensssoiinngg :)) dhanksbaaa !

Velu Nair said...

Quite an interesting discussion going on in here. Thx for sharing this thoughtful post, Sree!

Ankur said...

//I meant u agree that there is no significant favor towards woman in this law.//
yups i got that one :)

//no lesson can deter u from arguing :)//
incorrigible :(

//probably the earlier versions had this interpretation...it has considerably changed now//
so what does pati parmeshwar mean now?

//instead of fixing the legal minimum age for girls to marry , its better to fix a minimum qualification or saleable skill as requirement before marriage.
parents wont change otherwise.//
is it practical? plz elaborate.

//its better to learn to deal with oneself than depend on the goodness of another :(//
nicely said :)

//so u know what 'legal prowess' means ;)//
ya over the course of a couple of decades, sometimes courts find the truth.

//In all the cases that I have seen a man falsely accused of dowry demand , downright refuses to join his wife whatever the circumstances maybe.//
what else would u do if u were in his place... i would rather see her dead then talk to her again.

Ankur said...

//I know a couple who did finance business and took public money and absconded :) they got along admirably :)//
birds of the same feather flock together.

//All said and done , its basic principles that guide all relationships , that guide marriage too.//
totally agreee

// If one does something to a spouse that he/she wld'nt dream of doing to a friend , the marriage is on the rocks . So discipline plays a major role.//
u r friends first spouses later.

//yes..damage control. like provide for the wife and kids in this case .//
yups kids should not be allowed to suffer :(

//I am tempted to say 'penalise him..throw him in the jail' //
wait a minute u just said... it should not be a crime.

//..but I know how fruitless that wld be.//
ya law can do nothing in these matters.

//yes..but atleast they should be taught to put an end to one relationship before embarking on another.//
humans are gregarious by nature.. they like to share :)

//no its got nothing to do with connections...its all to do with using the right law .//
how can u legally...
"beat the living daylights out of that guy :)"???

Adiya said...

mm.. konjam more technicalnan post.. by all means wrong person should be penalized and punished. :)

Ravi said...

Hi Sree,
I think this is akin to many other Victorian age rules like its always the wife who gets alimony no matter how independent the wife is and also the laws relating to homosexuality in India.

So Sree, ippo aavadhu theriyudhaa? Aangal unmayileye evvalavu paavam-nu.

Btw, what happens if the wife is okay with it. Its obvious that there are many many public figures who have more than wife at the same time and in India polygamy is against the law. I think there are many matters which are better settled off court than in the court. What say?

Sree's Views said...

VELU NAIR

Hello Velu Nair ,

Thanks for ur kind words.
I am happy u found the
discussion interesting :)

see yaa !

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR

Hey Ankur

incorrigible :(
absolutely :))

so what does pati parmeshwar mean now?
antonym of 'door mat' !
but I have to add only if she is
financially independent.

//instead of fixing the legal minimum age for girls to marry , its better to fix a minimum qualification or saleable skill as requirement before marriage.
parents wont change otherwise.//
is it practical? plz elaborate.//
lots of things dont appear practical when they are started . When the min age for marriage was fixed , it was considered very unreasonable...but it was slowly accepted.
I shd confess I have'nt found a perfect solution or discussed this with anyone.
But I strongly feel a few things shd be followed during marriage
1. Compulsory registration
2. declaring the qualifications of the bride and the groom..
not necessarily the educational ones..even trainings and other skill sets would do.
If every woman is made financially independent , half the laws to protect women would become obsolete.


//In all the cases that I have seen a man falsely accused of dowry demand , downright refuses to join his wife whatever the circumstances maybe.//
what else would u do if u were in his place... //
Yes..what u say makes sense..its hard to take a false accusation.
But sometimes guys are so clever that they can make a women's life so miserable but would still be on the right side of law.

i would rather see her dead then talk to her again. //
yes. I have seen umpteen cases...one man just walked out and refused to talk to his mother for asking him to reconcile with his wife.

Ankur said...

//ANKUR
Hey Ankur//
why r u repeating my name twice?

//but I have to add only if she is
financially independent.//
yups but i have also seen a lot of financially independent woman who allows themselves to be treated like thrash....

//When the min age for marriage was fixed , it was considered very unreasonable...but it was slowly accepted.//
ya i had read about that..

//I shd confess I have'nt found a perfect solution or discussed this with anyone.//
i guess after this posts u should consider that.

//But I strongly feel a few things shd be followed during marriage//

//1. Compulsory registration//
a photograph is good enough.

//2. declaring the qualifications of the bride and the groom..//
why don't u also ask for good conduct and experience certificates from my previous employers and girlfriends?

//If every woman is made financially independent , half the laws to protect women would become obsolete.//
its only the middle class woman who are not financially independent.... rest all know how to earn to make their both ends meet.

//Yes..what u say makes sense..its hard to take a false accusation.//
:(

//But sometimes guys are so clever that they can make a women's life so miserable but would still be on the right side of law.//
care to share some insights... we can learn a lot from them :)

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR

Hey Ankur,

birds of the same feather flock
together.//
exactly my sentiments...as long as both are the same kind things work out well..its only the vulture-dove combi that has problems.

u r friends first spouses later.//
yes..and one friend shd never take
another for granted.

//I am tempted to say 'penalise
him..throw him in the jail' //
wait a minute u just said... it should not be a crime.//
yes...I did..and that is why I pushed temptation aside :(

humans are gregarious by nature.. they like to share :)//
yeah yeah... :)
have'nt we discussed abt
ducks and drakes before ?
we saw what the main difference between drakes and men are
and I vividly remember ur opinion on sharing.
far from gregarious :P

how can u legally...
"beat the living daylights out of that guy :)"??? //
I was speaking figuratively...
but the police can use reasonable force when neccessary.
but when the guy gets arrested and runs around courts ,he'd think the literal thing wld be a piece of cake.

Sree's Views said...

//ANKUR
Hey Ankur//
why r u repeating my name twice? //
1. its a warning to u ,not to get it repeated thrice
2.I do not consider it golden words ;)
:))


yups but i have also seen a lot of financially independent woman who allows themselves to be treated like thrash....//
we are not talking about borderline psychiatric patients....
In the book 'Ten things women do to mess up their lives' , clinging to an abusive man is number one.

but I guess...after a few years of living together and investing so much emotionally it's really hard to let go.Also a man-less life scares a lot of women.


i guess after this posts u should consider that. //
yes.

//1. Compulsory registration//
a photograph is good enough. #
what do u mean?


//2. declaring the qualifications of the bride and the groom..//
why don't u also ask for good conduct and experience certificates from my previous employers and girlfriends? //
If minimum qualification is made mandatory...u'd need to enlist ur skill set.
but , as I said its just an idea..a strong hope that this wld help women.

experience certificates from my previous employers and girlfriends?//
the idea is not flawless but it has to start somewhere.

btw.. a man who talks of ex-girlfriends shd not be allowed to marry :))


its only the middle class woman who are not financially independent.... rest all know how to earn to make their both ends meet. //
yes :( and also they are the ones who are bound by customs and traditions.
the poor ppl just leave their husbands and carry on with their lives .


miserable but would still be on the right side of law.//
care to share some insights... we can learn a lot from them :) //
No...u dont need any help..u r a pro ;-)

Sree's Views said...

ADIYA

hey Adiya..
I wanted to make it
less technical..and that is
why I did not put any sections there ..but I guess these legal jargons are inevitable.
by all means wrong person should be penalized and punished. :) //
yes..that is one way of looking at things..my senior think so too.
thanks Adiya :)

Sree's Views said...

RAVI

Hello Ravi..
How are u ?

You are right in saying this is an obsolete age old law that has no use in the present day.
As for alimony..maintenance is awarded to wives who cannot support themselves...a husband has a duty to support his wife and children if they are not provided for.
In a case where the husband is not in a position to support himself , he has a right to claim maintenance from his wife. This is under Hindu marriage act.
Homosexuality is not recognised by Indian Law and falls under unnatural offences. But I am not sure abt my views on it.

Sree, ippo aavadhu theriyudhaa? Aangal unmayileye evvalavu paavam-nu. //
enangaaa solreengaaa ?
which male is to be pitied here ?
1. The wronged husband takes it out on the third person
2. The wife of the erring husband cannot do a thing except give him a divorce and file for maintenance.
3.The only male who is punished is the 'third person' .
Is he to be pitied ?

what happens if the wife is okay with it.//
I wanted to check the facts with a senior before answering this :)
Even though the wife (legal) agrees to the husband marrying the second time , the subsequent marriage is not a valid one. The 'wife' is just a mistress.

Its obvious that there are many many public figures who have more than wife at the same time and in India polygamy is against the law.//
:) yes and they are our leaders .

Indian Law penalises 'bigamy' .
but then , there shd be some marriage ceremony to bring the relationship under 'bigamy' and its common for husband and wife.
But any other relationship is only adultery and it is not considered 'polygamy' .

I think there are many matters which are better settled off court than in the court. What say? //
I am not sure about that , Ravi.
I always feel its better to get things done legally than leave loose ends.
Even if there is a compromise between parties , its better to get it settled throo the court following whatever has been agreed by them.

enna sollareenga :)

Voracious Blog Reader said...

Wow Partner,

You are a born Lawyer.

Salute !

Voracious Blog Reader

Ankur said...

//In the book 'Ten things women do to mess up their lives' , clinging to an abusive man is number one.//
i thought it was stupid attachments... which means jewelery, clothes, implants etc.

//Also a man-less life scares a lot of women.//
do u think men enjoy having no woman next to them? spare some sympathy for them also.

//1. Compulsory registration//
a photograph is good enough. #
what do u mean?
a photograph of the marriage should be a good enough proof??? don't u think.

//but , as I said its just an idea..a strong hope that this wld help women.//
and what exactly would these certificates achieve?

//the idea is not flawless but it has to start somewhere.//
how about starting with a compatibility test... the girl has to spend a week/month with the guy as his wife.

//btw.. a man who talks of ex-girlfriends shd not be allowed to marry :))//
and now whats the harm in that??? i think like in job.. even in marriage prior exp is must... after all how else will i furnish those conduct certificates.

//the poor ppl just leave their husbands and carry on with their lives ...//
and so does the rich... only these educated docile cows are stuck.

//No...u dont need any help..u r a pro ;-)//
hey i can actually learn something from them.

Aboorva said...

Sorry I don't know much about this. Till I left my comment here (Theriyathanama Ulla Nullegetane by seeing No. of comments)

In my view the wrong is happenning at the very initial stage of setting the allaiances. If the matrimony is set as proper match like similar status, similar family background, same type of education then the much important physical match. Then I think the problem would reduce.

Curious said...

Didn't really get a clue pa...konjam thaliku mela poiduchu! so no coments on the topic...

But...namba Prashanth case ku romba use aagum pola irukku... :P Daily SUN news paakare aarvathule solliten...out of topic na...freeya vitturrunga! :D

Just Words said...

Hey sree,

Well I guess this laws were written in a different era , when a woman’s world was mostly confined to the four walls of their house and more importantly they were considered weaker ,innocent and gullible …hence were the favored sex who needed protection in a man’s world. Men were considered the protector and were not supposed to be the invaders. and that’s why a man had to take the blame for adultery too, I guess that’s the same reason why on titanic someone asked to save women and children first or why a man offers his seat to a girl in a bus, even thou half of the seats are now women’s only or . Now are these adultery laws practical or relevant today or are they only true in a idealistic prehistoric world ? That I don’t know . I will rather call them old fashioned laws ,but then in a era were terms like Gentlemen and Lady have been replaced by dude’s and chick’s guess its high time to change these adultery laws too

Good Luck & Smile Always

Sree's Views said...

ABOORVA

Hello Aboorva..
Sorry for the delayed reply.(cld'nt get net connection)
( (Theriyathanama Ulla Nullegetane by seeing No. of comments)
:)) enanga ipdee solliteenga :P
What u say is also right...there shd be compatibility.
If there is conses of mind then there would not be a speck of
dicord in marrital life !
Thanks ,Aboorva :)

************

CURIOUS

hey... how are u ?
sorry yaa...did'nt reply in time !
Didn't really get a clue pa...//
Sorry paa :( I shd have written with less legal jargons..
will be more careful next time !
//But...namba Prashanth case ku romba use aagum pola irukku...
..out of topic na...freeya vitturrunga! :D //
kamal sollara maari "kalli neenga..." :))
ellathaiyum purinju kittu appuram onnum theriyadha maarri .. :)
anyways..correctaa soneenga...Prashanth wife pannadhu
'bigamy'...It really beats me why she did not get divorce the first time..
lets wait and watch the tamasha !

****************


JUST WORDS

Hey Sam..how are u ?
sorry abt the delay..cld'nt get net connection.
Now are these adultery laws practical or relevant today//
ofcourse this is an absurd law and it has no value in today's world.
Its a consolation to know this is a very sparingly used law :)

That I don’t know . I will rather call them old fashioned laws ,but then in a era were terms like Gentlemen and Lady have been replaced by dude’s and chick’s guess its high time to change these adultery laws too //
one way of seeing things :)
But my point is , there is no point in penalising a third person
when there is an inherent problem in the family.
The wife commits adultery only when there is in-house problems..
so its better for the husband to deal with that that shift the blame
on to another rogue.

Good Luck & Smile Always //
thanks and yes it reflects :)

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR
(just once..happy ;-) )

i thought it was stupid attachments...//
yes..attaching oneself to a stupid man.

which means jewelery, clothes, implants etc. //
that's just to make that man cry :)

do u think men enjoy having no woman next to them? //
yeah....nobody denies that...but are the men willing to be fair?

spare some sympathy for them also.//
whatever for ? dont worry....appearances are deceptive.
they can take care of themselves.

a photograph of the marriage should be a good enough proof??? don't u think.//
nopes..photographs are a dime a dozen.

and what exactly would these certificates achieve? //
just to make sure they are qualified to earn their own living.

how about starting with a compatibility test... the girl has to spend a week/month with the guy as his wife.//
I'd say its an unnecessary risk for men.
what if they pale in comparison with another and the girl
does'nt even want to give it a try ?
I think the present system is very much pro-male and it wld
be wise for the men to leave things as they are :)
afterall even the worst of the kind gets sold in the market :)
why expose one's short-comings ?
but on the bright side...u can choose a wife with the rt experience!

and now whats the harm in that??? i think like in job.. even in marriage prior exp is must... after all how else will i furnish those conduct certificates. //
maybe there are some jobs that need a fresh candidate so that his mind wld be fresh and learn the job at hand expertly...
and there is no unlearning or de-programming involved :)


and so does the rich... only these educated docile are stuck. //
sad but true :( seems like its very difficult to break the bond

hey i can actually learn something from them. //
u fail the preliminary test ! u need more than a rough exterior to put those tricks of the trade in action

Ankur said...

//ANKUR
(just once..happy ;-) )//
no actually i won't mind u screaming and yelling my name all night long.. :p

//yeah....nobody denies that...but are the men willing to be fair?//
what unfair thing we did.... :(

//just to make sure they are qualified to earn their own living.//
what if i want to be a househusband?

//afterall even the worst of the kind gets sold in the market :)
why expose one's short-comings ?//
yups thats why we guys want 3 day trial versions.. :)

//u fail the preliminary test ! u need more than a rough exterior to put those tricks of the trade in action//
and that test being?

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR


no actually i won't mind u screaming and yelling //
planning to loot our neighbourhood or what ?
beware ! our neighbourhood is a rough one :P


what unfair thing we did.... :( //
see..even the law punishes the guys...they must have their own reasons :P

what if i want to be a househusband? //
good...u get to enjoy maternity leave :))

//afterall even the worst of the kind gets sold in the market :)
why expose one's short-comings ?//
yups thats why we guys want 3 day trial versions.. :) //
to expose ur shortcomings ? quite fair !

//u fail the preliminary test ! u need more than a rough exterior to put those tricks of the trade in action//
and that test being? //
u need a ruthless atittude too....u fail !
(its a compliment man , smile :)) )

thoughts of a blank mind said...

OMG .... 44 comments to one post!!! guys try put those comments as post instead so everyone can follow!!!

btw you have been tagged

Thiru said...

hi sri

me back after some busy days and with my pc back online! So what you have got here?!

Adultery!! I guess its a human invention. The day the society created the marriage institution (or call it a school?!) the need for dealing with naughty kids also arose. In India it made sense when women were financially dependent on men. But now as we are in the stage of transition towards financial independence. And those laws have lost its validity in many of the cases reported these days.

Latest findings reveal centre for love and lust are separate in brain. Hence, given the opportunity adultery is more natural in Darwinian sense but not tolerable between couples, in deep love with each other.

A good post sri!!

Sree's Views said...

TOBM
Hey Amit...
how are u ? long time no see ?

OMG .... 44 comments to one post!!! guys try put those comments as post instead so everyone can follow!!! //
why sir ? why not read them here :P

tagged ? yeah..I'll take it up..I am happy it said , facts that we can come up with...not ask anyone else...that wld be suicide :))

see yaa !

Sree's Views said...

THIRU

Hi Thiru...
Welcome back ! Glad to know that u got ur pc :)

And those laws have lost its validity in many of the cases reported these days. //
I am glad u agree....these are silly laws without any logic to it.

hey, I read and article about brain and its impact on general health in R.Digest May issue and thought it is a subject that wld interest u.

Latest findings reveal centre for love and lust are separate in brain//
oh really ? that explains adultery...but then how come sometimes even emotions have a strong play in adultery ?

A good post sri!! //
thank u :)

btw... look out for my next post...that place is just 10kms uphill from Rishi Valley and the water for the hills is pumped up from the station in RV :)
So when u visit RV...make sure u go to this place too :)

B. Ramana said...

Hi, Sree!
A very different experience to see a 'thair vadai' blog: my life's first!
Adultery and blogging may be related, at least in some perspective!
Romba thanx, and keep in touch!
I will!!

Sree's Views said...

Hello Doc ,
Welcome here :)
A very different experience to see a 'thair vadai' blog: my life's first! //

hmm...yeah..it must be a different experience from all those 'murungakaa blogs' ;-)

I like that article about blogging :)
Mikka Nandri :)
sure..I'll keep in touch !

Thiru said...

hi sri

//hey, I read and article about brain and its impact on general health in R.Digest May issue and thought it is a subject that wld interest u.//

oh thanks. Is that available online?

//but then how come sometimes even emotions have a strong play in adultery ?//

hmm... emotions are more abstract than love and lust, to define and dissect through scientific methods in brain science as of now. But I guess it is not totally unsolvable in future. As our scientific knowledge increases in other social aspects of life it will be possible to nail down the emotions as well.
btw in my opinion girls are better at experiencing and expressing emotions more deeper. May be we have to look into girls brain to get the clues (though it doesn't imply guys head are empty... lol)

thanks for the info about RV associated spots to add in the list. Anyway I will be checking with you before making the trip. I will check your next post.

Sree's Views said...

Hello Thiru....
brain and its impact on general health in R.Digest May //

Its here...
http://www.rd.com/content/brain-biology-medical-research-and-brain-biology/

hmm... emotions are more abstract than love and lust, to define and dissect through scientific methods in brain science as of now. //
and I always thought love in an element in the set of emotions.

btw in my opinion girls are better at experiencing and expressing emotions more deeper. //
that's because we care ;-)

(though it doesn't imply guys head are empty... lol) //
nopes....not at all...its the empty heart that's the problem :P :))

thanks for the info about RV associated spots to add in the list. //
anytime (if u r a Thirupathi visitor , u have to club it with that...else there is a good route from B'lore)

I will check your next post. //
helloo...pottu rendu naal aachu.. :)

Thiru said...

hoi sri

//and I always thought love in an element in the set of emotions.//
yes you are right, what I meant is currently you can study volunteers (couples) who are madly in love (romantic) with each other by subjecting them to fMRI brain scans to understand the areas activated as compared to other situations. But whereas for emotion which comes in many facets, the basic framework to study is yet to be developed.

//that's because we care ;-)//
agreed.

//nopes....not at all...its the empty heart that's the problem :P :))//
idhu thaan kaetu vaangikratha ?! strongly disagree.

//anytime (if u r a Thirupathi visitor , u have to club it with that...else there is a good route from B'lore)//
hmm... ok. (thanks lam sollitae iruka mudiyathu!)

//helloo...pottu rendu naal aachu.. :)//
blog aanaalum bath and readunu enga avvai paati solirukaanga!! (don't ask how long to take bath!)

Sree's Views said...

Helloooo Thiru

emotion which comes in many facets, the basic framework to study is yet to be developed. //
oh ok .

//that's because we care ;-)//
agreed.
pinna !!

idhu thaan kaetu vaangikratha ?! strongly disagree. //
sari ! pozhaichittu ponga :)

hmm... ok. (thanks lam sollitae iruka mudiyathu!) //
sonna , innimey oru infovum kidaikaadhu :P

blog aanaalum bath and readunu enga avvai paati solirukaanga!! (don't ask how long to take bath!) //
=))
adhu sari...deevaalikki deevaali kulikiravangaaa medhuva kulikka vendaamaa ;)

Chill said...

There goes our lawyer again...

Thiru said...

hey sri

oru rhyminga sonna... kurumbu jasthiya irukae... hmm

Sree's Views said...

Hey Thiru
oru rhyminga sonna... kurumbu jasthiya irukae... hmm //
appo amavasaikki amavasai kulichiduveengala !!! adadaa !!!
:))

Sree's Views said...

ASHOK

Hi Ashok..
How are u ?
I hope u liked this post :)
Looong time , No see :)
Hope I'd be seeing u more often :)
see yaa , Ashok :)

Anonymous said...

awesome blog, do you have twitter or facebook? i will bookmark this page thanks. jasmin holzbauer

Who Am I ? said...

Ankur, I completely disagree with your point that the man is getting in to a filth because he accuses a third party. I am undergoing the trauma after my wife had an affair with her manager. I have a three year old son .I am going to file a case against that guy and want to see him imprisoned atleast for a year. Anyway I have to live with her as my son loves both of us so much and cant miss either of us. However as a man I have my anger that need to be vetted out on what has happened to me. The other option that I have is to smack him down as hard as possible so that he has a mark on his face till he dies which I dont want to do again because i do not want my son to go through the pain of seeing his father going through a trial. it is easy to say to settle things within home but in reality it doesnt work that way. I Cant divorce my wife, I cant assault him, then how else do I vet my anger out. Seeking court of law is the best solution that I see at this point

Anonymous said...

i have a question a friend of mine from bangladesh has gotten pregnant by an indian guy. they were in a relationship for almost 3years. then my friend went back in our country to give birth. the indian guy was nowhere to be found and soon we heard that he got married to another indian girl. he abandoned my friend and the child and said he will be disowned once his family knew about it? what criminal offense can be sued to him even if they are not married he cheated my friend and he has a responsiblity to the child. kindly help us.

surveen chawla said...

who do I report to if I know someone is commiting adultery. The case in question is a married woman and an unmarried man...? HELP!