Thursday, 9 August 2007

ennssoooiii....a la Lolla Kutty ;-)

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Enough of Sardar jokes....... ......... .Mallu jokes are here!!!!!!!! !!

1) What is the tax on a Mallu's income called?
IngumDax

2) Where did the Malayali study?
In the ko-liage.

3) Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
He is very bissi.

4) Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?
To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in Gelff.

5) Why do Malayalis go to the Gelff?
To yearn meney.

6) What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

7) How does a Malayali spell moon?
MOON - Yem Woh yet another Woh and Yen

8) What is Malayali management graduate called?
Yem Bee Yae.

9) What does a Malayali do when he goes to America ?
He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

10) What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
An Oto

11) Where does he pray?
In a Temble, Charch and a Maask

12) Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

13) Name the only part of the werld, where Malayalis dont werk hard?
Kerala.

14) Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting,
folding and re-tying the lungi

15) Why did Saddam Hussain attack Kuwait ?
He had a Mallu baby-sitter, who always used to say
'KEEP QUWAIT' 'KEEP QUWAIT'

16) What is the Latest Malayali Punch Line?
"Frem Tea Shops To Koll Cenders, We Are Yevery Where"

17) Why aren't Mals included in hockey and football teams?
Coz Whenever they get a corner, they set up a tea shop.

18) Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of kokanet oil.

19) Pass it on 10 Mals to get a free pack of Benana Chibbs.

20) Pass it on to 15 Mals to get a set of BROGUN bones....


My favs are Nos.16 & 17 :))

hey...before u guys start off abt 'tamil accents', listen to this.
This was forwarded by a Telugu friend ;-)



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40 comments:

pria said...

Very funny;)))

Jeevan said...

It’s happen to be a funni evning for me. hehe… I like 12 14.

Enna sree where have u gone these days? How are u ka?

Siva said...

:)

Ankur said...

so u want to start a telgu tamil mallu war again?

Sowmya said...

Ippadi aniyayathukku ootalama sree..!

zimbly.. they talk like that way.It is Otomatically habbening.. you know :P

Akanathan said...

At last, happy to see a humor post from Sree! ( Ankur: thanks for inspiring Sree kungju)

I like 1 & 7.

I like seeing malayalee's mouth when they speak hardcore malayalam. Ore vazha vazha kozha kozha. Oru sirungal and oru konjal type.

How can we foget the malayalee exclaiming in three or four differrent tone of the same word? Oh! ohh! ohhh!

Adiya said...

en eppadi.. mm.. en eppadi..

:) super hilarious..

Sree's Views said...

Hey priya...
yaan haappy aayittu ;-) :))


JEEVS

Hey Jeevs...
How are u ? was a bit busy paa. I am doing fine.
yaa..14 is hilarious :))


SIVA
Hey siva...liked it yeah :)

Sree's Views said...

ANKUR

Hi Ankur ...

so u want to start a telgu tamil mallu war again? //
How can I do that without ur help dear :P
U r the one who starts all these and then becomes the umpire ;-)


***********
SOWMYA

Hey Sowms :)

Ippadi aniyayathukku ootalama sree..! //
O...yellame orru temaskku :P

zimbly.. they talk like that way.It is Otomatically habbening.. you know :P //
avanga keeeralathula idhu kommenaakkum :P

:))

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AKANATHAN

Hi Augustin :)
How are u ?

I always get reminded of Vivek's Omana Kutti commedy when I listen to mallu accent :)
I also like the way he talks like 'Karunakaran' in 'Parthiban kanavu' :)

glad u enjoyed the post :)

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ADIYA


en eppadi.. mm.. en eppadi.. //
orru jollyaakkum :P

:) super hilarious.. //
dabal joke :P (double ;-) )

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Enda Guruvaayurappa..
thanks...innum "BROGUN bones" aagala :))

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Voracious Blog Reader said...

" Beem boy, beem boy. andha lOcker-la irukkara 1ß laksharooaya yeduthu andha avinashi moonjila veeshi yeri"

Yeppadi irukkel pangaali?

Voracious Blog Reader

B. Ramana said...

Voracious,
OMG, I haven't stopped laughing!
The BeemBoy, Beem Boy movie with two Kamal Haasans was incredible comedy. Was it the same movie where they called a Malayalee "Aai, ye Asianettu..!"??
Wonderful!!
Great post, Sree!

Thiru said...

ha ha... too good!

thodangatum, thodaratum indha iniya sandaigal among tamil, mallu telugu.

Reminds me of my malayalee friend Prasad, who zimbly agrees on these pronunciation issues, but couldnt help himself in changing any of them!
Also reminds me of UG kerala kuttis of our college! sigh! whatever be their pronunciation! here I agree with Bharathiyar...

Sindhu nadhi innisai nilaviniley
saeyrilan naatu pengaludaney (kerala kuttisudan)
sundara teluginil paatisaithu (i guess, if he had seen today's balakrishna dance and song he would retract these lines)
thonigal otti vilayadi varuvom...

Bharathiyudan s(j)ollil ondru padugiraenaakum!

Sree's Views said...

ENGA PARTNER :)

Hey Kootaaleee..
I am doing fine..how are u ?
unga comments ellam enjoy pannaren :) in enagar and ram's blog.

"thirupura sundhariyaa nee..
thiruttu sundari..."

idhu nyabhagam irukka?

"thaana na naa thaa naa naa
..thaana na naa thaa naa naa.."
"roop thera masthana..."
"Yendaa gopi...indha paatu nee epdee ariyum"
"aaan...manasilayeedaa gopi..yaan paalakaatula ore dremakku tune podangil ore bambaikaaran vannu...avan yen tuneaa kalavaadinnu.."
"venaam aasaney ,enna kitta sonna maari velila sollidaadha aasaaney..dharma adi vizhum"
=))

I really liked all the comedy in this movie :)

hey..appuram , someone sent grandsweets vatha kuzhambu and kaarakuzhambu...romba nanna irundhudhu pangaalee....I was thinking of u while eating it :)
adhukku appalam super combi :)

see yaa , Partner :)

Sree's Views said...

B.RAMANA

Hey Ram...how are u ?
I too enjoyed V's jokes.
V's jokes and punch lines are hilarious :)

u shd get vivek's comedy DVD..the ones in which he changes his accent is really good :)
try the movie "paarthiban kanavu".

thanks , Ram...see yaa :)

Sree's Views said...

THIRU

allooo thiru :P
epdee irukkel ?

thodangatum, thodaratum indha iniya sandaigal among tamil, mallu telugu. //
naanum wait pannaren...verum vaaikku aval kidaikumaanu...onnum aapidalaiye :(

sigh! whatever be their pronunciation! here I agree with Bharathiyar... //
alloooo....en blog ellam vellam vandhiduchi...ipdee jollareenga :))

seen today's balakrishna dance and song he would retract these lines) //
=)) junior NTR nnu onnu irukku , theriyuma ?

thonigal otti vilayadi varuvom...//
ayaa...boat ottitu vara ennapaa ivalo getup ?
malayala karai vandha udaney kuttis ellam
"anna...yaan poran...teke ker" nnu tata kaamikum :))

hey thiru..remember that scence where , when vivek knocks on the door one elderly lady with her hair left loose opens the door and shouts at him ? (parthiban kanavu moviela )
super comedy illa ?

Voracious Blog Reader said...

Hayoooo paaaartner,

Am in splits.

" Thirupu thirupu "....Kushbu will turn him over.

" yennadhu idhu....ration arisi-ya...kasakardhey "...

" yennadhu kattindrukkom....amaam kattindrukkom"

Do you recollect anything from the move Panchatanthiram ?

Voracious Blog Reader

Voracious Blog Reader said...

Vathakuzhamb-a???

slurp slurp.

Got reminded of me Partner ? Thanks Thanks. Indhaango for you: carrot + sorakkai + capsica + white kaaramani kootu. :) Enjoy pannungo.

Voracious Blog Reader

Sree's Views said...

hey partner..
actually I was thinking of panchatantram...but cld'nt remember much.

but indha movie I remember

"neengalum cook nyanum cook gramam"
"ennadhu kattindrikkom"

"cetch my poooiinntt" :))

Sree's Views said...

oh...kootaalee
I love kootu..esp where they arachi and add coconut+jeeragam+chilli :)

I also like aviyal :)
(postukku sambandham irukkonno..adhaan sollidaren ;) )

B. Ramana said...

Mallu food, BTW, is far superior to Tamil food!
Do you agree?

Sree's Views said...

Ram..

Mallu food, BTW, is far superior to Tamil food!
Do you agree? //
Not completely.
Number one , their rice is not soft....and its impossible to eat that rice. then they use coconut oil and its unpalatable.

From what I have seen the breakfast is always idiyaapam with stew or aapam with stew.(stew again has lots of coconut milk).

The only dishes I like are idiyaapam ,puttu , aviyal , fish fry and fish sauce (without the coconut) and their 'payasams'. Not to forget their nendhranga and jackfruit chips :)
have u tasted 'ada pradhaman' ?
u need to develop a taste for it.
It has jaggery with a pinch of dried ginger powder .

prerna said...

Very,very funny!!I loved all of them. I have a Mallu friend, she has lived in Delhi for the last 23 years still she has a strong Mallu accent. You should hear her talking to the vegetable vendor or the autorickshaw wala. She is a wonderful person and I cherish her friendship. You know what can be funnier than that? Listening to an Arab talking in Malyalum in the Middle east.They sound so funny.

R.Prabhu said...

Sree, a very funny post!!, I received this some 3 years back. Here you go, some of the mizzing parts :)


Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?
Because he wanted to hear pope music.

Why did his wife divorce him?
Because he was louwing another woman.

Who found out that?
His aandy.

Who is Malayali's fyamousu eactor end aectress?
Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.

Why Kerala is the heghly literate state in India?
Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapal from Kerala

Why Arab countries are looking for only Keralites?
They are ready to do anything for meney.

Which car does he purchase when he gets license?
Second hand Mercedes.

Ravi said...

Sree,
This post of your was perfect timing!! We have a Mallu colleague and we never miss a chance
to pull his Mallu accent and when I forwarded this to him and
the rest of the gang, everyone burst laughing. Oh God and I am still laughing. Though I have
read this before, the timing of this post was toooo good. Thanks a bunch!

Sree's Views said...

PRERNA

You should hear her talking to the vegetable vendor or the autorickshaw wala. She is a wonderful person and I cherish her friendship. //
I know....this is just pulling their legs..I too have a few mallu friends , but they were all brght up in Chennai..so they speak perfect tamil :)

You know what can be funnier than that? Listening to an Arab talking in Malyalum in the Middle east.They sound so funny. //
never had an experience :)
Sometimes I hardly understand what they say :))

Thanks , Prerna :)

Sree's Views said...

R.PRABHU

Hello Prabhu :)
I just got it by mail yesterday and I really found it funny :)

thanks for the missing part :)

//Who found out that?
His aandy.//
sooper :))

see yaa , Prabhu :)

Sree's Views said...

RAVI

Hello Ravi :)

I am very happy it came at the right time for u :) and for making u guys lol :))

Actually I was thinking abt u when I put the post . I vividly remember u explaining the 'kerala lungi' in one of my previous posts...something like majenta color with large flower designs :) and how u guys used it as a table cloth :))

unga blog pakkam paathen...enna pudhu post edhuvum kaanom ?

Kumar said...

Hilarious. Very good.

//Now pass it on to 5 Mals to get a free sample of kokanet oil//

If I pass it to the mallu I know, I am sure to get a bottle of solphhuuric aacid. It is not that simble, you see :)

Sree's Views said...

Hey Kumar :)
Welcome here !
remember reading ur comment in Sowmya's blog .

If I pass it to the mallu I know, I am sure to get a bottle of solphhuuric aacid. It is not that simble, you see :) /
randu bootle verum :P :))

thanks , kumar !

Aboorva said...

I loved all of them. Its onam special. Hilarious. Very good.

தூயா [Thooya] said...

hehee funny...

Rambodoc said...

BTW, did you get to hear the Mallu version of 'Hotel California' (yeah, it is 'Hotel Keralfornia') that someone posted somewhere? It was funny.

Thiru said...

hey Sri

//seen today's balakrishna dance and song he would retract these lines) //
=)) junior NTR nnu onnu irukku , theriyuma ?//

adhu enna thozhuvathla kattina maadaa... lol

He is a living example... no no... bouncing example for the old quote in tamil...(as my friend says)

"Thaan aadaavitaalum thann sadhai aadum"

//vivek knocks on the door one elderly lady with her hair left loose opens the door and shouts at him ? (parthiban kanavu moviela )
super comedy illa ?//

Ya Vivek has done that and many other wonderful kerala kindal comedies!

see ya see ya...!

Prasad said...

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!

Sree's Views said...

ABOORVA

Hey Aboorva...
Thank u :)
Onam special // :))

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THOOYA

thank you , thooya :)

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RAMBODOC

Hoi Ram...
yeah, it is 'Hotel Keralfornia') //
Namba pannara galataala ethana Mallu kitta Adi vaanga poromo ;-)
:))
thanks , pal :)

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THIRU

allooo Thiru :)
ungala paatha udaney sirippudhaan :)

adhu enna thozhuvathla kattina maadaa... lol //
neenga vera....indha telugu pada dialogue deliveries ketta enna solluveengalooo !
"Mallu kitta odha vaangalanra thenavatula ippo telugusa vambu izhukariyaa..?"nnu neenga kekaradhu puriyudhu :P
yeah...summa..oru seendal dhan :P

"Thaan aadaavitaalum thann sadhai aadum" //
ROTFL !!
adhey adhey :)

Ya Vivek has done that and many other wonderful kerala kindal comedies! //
ya..his mimickry like Karunakaran is also super :)

yeah...see yaa :)

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PRASAD

Hello Prasad..
Welcome here :)
I am glad u liked it :)
thanks !

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Thiru said...

Hoi Sree...

"Mallu kitta odha vaangalanra thenavatula ippo telugusa vambu izhukariyaa..?"nnu neenga kekaradhu puriyudhu :P//

Ya Ya... mothathula adi vizharadhu nichayam! I heard a rumor from a dubai friend that a kerala community in gelf has hired arabic gundas to hit someone in chennai with special views in a spot. And they have started their journey towards their target, riding on the camels. Not sure when they will reach the destination! beware!

see ya see ya...

Sree's Views said...

THIRU..
allooo.....kooda seindhu inga gummi adikka therijadhu illa ;) appuram gelf camelkaaranga kodukaradhalayum sama pangu :P
pogattum total comments la
pro-rata vaa vaangikonga :P

Anonymous said...

enna pa koothu adikoringa!!
(Sree... thiru... koncham niruthappa)

Sree's Views said...

Anon

Sree... thiru... koncham niruthappa) //

avangala nirutha sollunga..naanga nirutharom ;)

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